No Contact

[pandaluve]

I finally stood my ground and decided to cut off all contact with my ex. We recently broke up due to constant fighting. I can't put my finger on one exact thing we fought about, but in the end, we decided to end the relationship.

 

Since then I've treid to cut contact, but I get weak when I miss him, or when he calls. I realzied that I've been spending my time and effort on him still as though he was my bf, but he's not and it's stopping me from moving on.

 

I delivered my decision to him last night when he called. I told him calmly how I felt. I was hurt that the love is no longer there, and it's easier for me to move on if I tlel myself that he's no longer there than to be reminded each time when i see him that it's the love that's no longer there.

 

He was upset that he's going to be dead to me. I see no other way. It was kind of hard today. I'm still used to talking to him after work, and even seeing him every night.

 

I wonder if he's missing me. I still would like to get back togehter, when he could appreciate the relationship more. I wonder if this is going to instead, just set him free to be with others.

 

What's been your story? Anybody else with similar experiences?

[simulacra]

You know best what you need in order to heal. If you feel that you will get over him better by not having contact, then that's what you should do. Some people really just need the distance apart to allow them to get their lives back and to refocus on themselves.

 

If you have decided to move on, cutting off contact for a while may be a good thing, especially if you've already explained things to him calmly and he has some sense of closure at this point.

 

It is very painful and takes some getting used to at the beginning, but a year or two from now, you'll be okay with everything. And depending on how good your friendship is/was, you may even be able to stay friends after all the wounds have healed.

[WuvWolf]

I think everyone shares that experience.. hell you haven't lived till you do. I think "NC" is one of the hardest things to do, but with practice and effort it is a brilliant tool to have. The thing is, is that you need to think about yourself and not him. Selfish? Very.. but in the end, you have to protect your heart, because you control it, not noone else.

 

I have a really long and sad story that relates to this, but I feel that I don't need to share it for my benifit. But I'll give you the jest, that way you know you are not alone.

 

Basically my friend and I got together finally after 10 years of an awesome friendship. And man it was sweeeet~! I loved her to death. She decided that she want''s this to be the real thing and not a summer fling or a 1 or 2 year relationship. We trust eachother so well and I agree with her. So we needed separation and time to grow. She wants to be friends still, but that will hurt me even if she does not mean to. I am keeping my distance from her so she will realize that she can't live without me.

 

I know this is not exactly the same situation as yours, but trust me the NC is just as hard. Confidence and Self-esteem are key. Good luck my friend