I'm so down...

[disguisedpixie]

...and i just can't get out of it. Mostly it's the way i look, some days i cant even face going out. Sometimes when i feel bad, one of my friends has to persuade me to go out, then when i do, i end up wanting to cry. I've always been shy but this is different, i feel like i wanna go around with a paper bag on my head so people can't see me. It's weird but at night, i feel safer and more protected, and some days when i have to go out, i wish it was raining so i can cover my face with an umbrella.

 

I know it all sounds so pathetic.

 

And guys tell me i'm attractive blah blah blah, but i honestly think the opposite and think that they are obviously just attracted to uglier people.

 

I used to have my own style and was an individual but now i'm just constantly wanting to look like other people, i buy similar clothes just so i can blend into the crowd.

 

ARGH i feel so stupid. I don't know why all this has come, i've been like it on and off for a couple of years now.

 

Does anyone else feel like this? Or has felt like this?

[sonjam]

At first glance, I honestly thought you had depression, but reading your post, I think it is more like some kind of phobia, you know some people wash their hands constantly, they are affraid of germs, and it becomes and obsession. Although I don't know alot about this sort of thing, I do think it might have something to do with a chemical imbalance in your brain. Why not have it checked out by a psychiatrist?

[disguisedpixie]

I dunno, you think so? I don't think i'd feel comfortable going to a pyschiatrist, but i'll read up about phobias.

[sonjam]

here's a question or two:

 

do you eat in public places? Yes or NO

 

Being with people demands much sacrifice from me Yes or no?

 

In group activities, I do whatever is possible to remain quiet yes or no?

 

If you answer yes to any of these questions, you might be suffering from

Social Anxiety Disorder.

 

Here's a link with more info link removed

 

good luck

[CrazyKing]

I had a simmilar situation last summer - I was depressed all the time due to the fact that I didn't had a girlfriend/somebody to be intimate with... And I tried to find reasons for this in my looks... It took me a few months til' I realized that I looked quite good in other's eyes, but my personality is the thing that makes girls to look at me in a different way...

 

Now I'm just trying to improve myself and accept the way I am - now I can walk through my town and the people recognize me... I started to get around & meet the people...

 

Well, I'm still lonely and often quite depressed, but at least I've got fun that keeps me hangin' on...

[disguisedpixie]

I don't mind eating in public places, and it's not a sacrifice to spend time with other people, but i do try and keep myself out of the conversation and stay quiet. I'll check out that link now, thanks

[disguisedpixie]

CrazyKing, i know what you mean. There was a guy i liked and i kept telling myself he wasn't attracted to me and that's why he didn't want me, but in the end i think it was mostly to do with my personality, i don't wanna be like this, but i feel really controlled by it, like i can't break free and be truly happy

[jasminebose]

I don't think this is a phobia. What exactly is is about your appearance you don't like? Is it a weight issue (feeling too fat/thin), your features or what? Have you always been insecure about the way you look? I think it sounds like low self esteem and a lack of confidence in yourself. I think these are pretty normal feelings for a 20 year old girl, esp with media pressure, etc. that is not to say you should just put up with feeling like this, as confidence and self esteem are both things you can develop and work on.

JZ

[disguisedpixie]

I'm a UK size 8-10, so i'm not worried about my body weight, but even though people say they would love to be my size, if i put on a few pounds i obsess about it and get thoughts about anorexia and things.

 

I guess overall i just feel ugly, my face, my hair, my skin. I just can't face people seeing me like this, i cant stand people even looking at me when they're talking to me.

 

Then again i do have good days, when i feel nice and more confident, but those are rare.

[jasminebose]

Have you heard of body dysmorphic disorder? it is where you see yourself as fat/ ugly even though others don't see you like that at all. Like you see one thing in the mirror but it is not reality. I think you should cheack that out and also work on developing your confidence in yourself. Maybe you need to shift your focus from your looks to another part of yourself (e.g. personality/ job/education). Personally when I started working with people and volunterring my focus really shifted from my own insecurities to what was going on outside of me and I felt a lot better.

JZ

[stonecollector]

Hey, I registered all the way down here just want to let you know that there is at least one person in the world suffers as you do. I have the same thing in my mind, and worse, i live with a bounch of people keep telling me I deserve that too.

 

Take it easy, you are not that bad, and either do I. Comparing to those really do not even know their own problems but just keep pushing others down this or that way, you should have known that you are good enough to hang arround.

 

These days are so boring, I feel lucky to see there is really someone sharing ideas about how to make him or herself happer. Thanks for whoever set up theese topics.

[30STM]

I am going through the same thing as you are right now, always down,not wanting to go out. I also feel ugly, some people I know(which supposed to be my friends) always say that I am, they usually hint at it in a sarcastic way, there is a girl I know who even started to evade me ( sister of a m8 ) . So I recently began to stop caring about what people are saying/thinking about me, the way I look. This helped me somewhat, maybe it works for you too. I know its easier said then done, but it really works ( for me )

 

Cheers

[Lonleyboy]

disguisedpixie, you can line 10 random people up in a line, and look at there faces. I bet you any money that you can find atleast one thing that u consider ugly on each of them.. be it a crooked or big nose, teeth, crossed eyes, short hair, skin, whatever.. when u break it all down, it's petty.. Break down all of your features one by one, you'll see that you are not ugly.. An Ardvark is ugly.. Beauty is relative.. Tho more people might say, a skinny white girl with blue eyes and blonde hair is beauty, but that's our culture..

 

any where else, or to another person, that might not be the pinnacle of beauty. those men who have interest in you are probably sincere and you should give them a chance.. there is nothing like a friend from the opposite sex boosting your confidence.. I wish that i had a picture of you, i doubt that you look like an Ardvark.. Beauty is skin deep, keep yo head up, this isn't really a big problem.. you should look at your self every mourning and tell yourself that you are beautiful, if u believe it or not..