anonymous0000 Posted July 10, 2005 Share Posted July 10, 2005 Other than night clubs, where else is there to meet single lesbian women? What is a good way to discreetly ask a woman if she is gay? Link to comment
mgirl Posted July 10, 2005 Share Posted July 10, 2005 This is an interesting question and one that i have often asked myself. The conclusion that i have come up with is to live my life, be happy and the right person will gravitate towards me. If they don't (heaven forbid!), at least i know i have done the right thing and not become desperate, although sometimes i feel 'desperate', but i never follow through with it. Ways to meet women: 1. Personals sites (yuk, but you never know) 2. Nightclubs (equally yuk, if not worse, but you never know... chances are smaller though) 3. Through friends and aquaintences, who may have met them in nightclubs, but it's better than you going 4. Through work or being lucky in living a genuine life - the best way of all. Let fate take it's course. It is difficult, there is no doubt about it but i think the best way is to be open and honest about yourself first. You don't need to go shouting it from the rooftops, but as you get to know a person, you can be more revealing about yourself. While some people may suggest to be coy and determine their attitudes towards homosexuality first, this may be a good idea, but i have found that being coy and shy about it is just adding to the multitude of homophobia we already face. Sometimes people can tell you are gay and you can tell they are, but it all depends on how either of you fit into the stereotype. So, i think if you like someone, try to get to know them and find out about their preferences and whether they are single or not. Just take it from there. If there is chemistry (both sexual or non-sexual), the conversation will naturally move to more intimate details and you will find out more about the person then. The other alternative is just to be "out" straight away. This can sometimes be freaky, but it can also intrigue people as well. I'm not really sure how to ask another woman whether she is gay. Perhaps somebody else can help out?! Link to comment
dpressedone89 Posted July 10, 2005 Share Posted July 10, 2005 im not sure how to phrase this one.me and some of my friends are in a gay rights/antihomophobia club and i've met gay men before as well as lesbian women. this made things simple because we were all really open about our sexuality. i dont know if this is an option for you but i thought it might be helpful. -stitches Link to comment
tri Posted July 10, 2005 Share Posted July 10, 2005 I met my girlfriend through a site very similar to this one we got to talking one day liked what we heard and decided to meet and are going strong. Mgirl you have the right idea hun Link to comment
tri Posted July 10, 2005 Share Posted July 10, 2005 I met my girlfriend through a site very similar to this one we got to talking one day liked what we heard and decided to meet and are going strong. Mgirl you have the right idea hun Link to comment
Cadence308 Posted July 10, 2005 Share Posted July 10, 2005 mgirl pretty much touched on the main sites to meet someone. I just moved to a new city and last night I went to a les bar and I swear, I came home with 5 new phone numbers of womyn who want to "hang out" with me of all ages. Sometimes all it takes is going somewhere by yourself and being a bit aggressive, in terms of initiating conversation with someone. Other times, just having a few les friends because they will have friends and those people have friends. I met a very sexy, professional womyn last night through a friend at this bar. And she seems really into me. She gave me her number. She's pretty coy, but I love that about womyn. She said that she was too drunk to discuss what we were talking about (it was intellectual), but that she would love to talk with me more about it and gave me her number. I know she had a few drinks, but it wasn't like she couldn't stand up. Funny! Link to comment
mgirl Posted July 11, 2005 Share Posted July 11, 2005 Wow, thanks tri! I hope i've got the right idea. Go Ballys, finally, sexy AND professional! Link to comment
anonymous0000 Posted July 13, 2005 Author Share Posted July 13, 2005 I greatly appreciate all the advice you wonderful women have provided me. I am so glad that I have found this site, it has been so helpful in more ways that one. In will address your suggestions one at a time: Ways to meet women: 1. Personals sites: Tried that but due to lack of free time I can no longer set aside time to meet women that do not provide accurate representation of themselves. 2. Nightclubs: Drugs, Party Girls and superficiality 3. Through friends and acquaintances: I am not conceded just really aware… the truth is that the few lesbian friends I have initially intended to date me or still desire to do so and I find that they have not been helpful. 4. Through work or being lucky in living a genuine life – This is so sad…I work in the fashion industry and believe or not there are not many GROUNDED AND CONSERVATIVE lesbians in my professional or social circles. In my leisure time I attend very intellectual and private society events where most people are not open about taboos. I would love to be OPEN about my sexuality, but am certain it would sabotage my ability to maintain my social status….and once you open up to someone it can be exposed in the paper. I sometimes fantasize of an alternate universe where I can shave all my hair off and forget about the imaginary gender lines but my lifestyle does not allow that….For the women that can feel fortunate. I do not fit any stereotypes and am attracted to women that do not either so this posses problems. I met women all the time but as things progress I find that they are BI or Married lesbians etc and that's NOT what I want. That can be as much of a waste of time and sometimes loss of business. SOMEONE POSED A QUESTION ABOUT HOW TO ASK A WOMAN IF SHE IS GAY…I CAN HELP. PEOPLE WILL ALWAYS TELL YOU WHAT THEY WANT TO TELL YOU, LET THEM LEAD THE CONVERSATION. - THERE IS AN OLD LATIN SAYING THAT SAYS WINE BRING THE TRUTH - ASK HER IF SHE HAS A MAN IN HER LIFE… STRAIGHT WOMEN USUALLY DO - ASK HER WHAT ACTIVITIES DOES SHE PARTICIPATE IN HER FREE TIME - ASK WHERE SHE GOES TO MEET MEN - TELL HER YOU HAVE A FRIEND IN TOWN AND IF SHE CAN SUGGEST WHERE TO RESEARCH SOME LESBIAN BARS - LOOK AT HER NAILS - INVITE HER TO A WOMEN ORIENTATED CONFERENCE AND SEE HOW SHE RESPONDS TO ASSERTIVE AND MOST LIKELY SOME GAY WOMEN BECAUSE OF MY CAREER I AM NOT ABLE TO GET INVOLVED IN ANYTHING POLITIC _________________ I KNEW THAT DUE TO MY LIMITATIONS I DID NOT HAVE MANY OPTIONS BUT I WAS JUST CURIOUS ABOUT WHAT ALL OF YOU SEEMINGLY INTELLIGENT AND MATURE WOMEN WOULD SUGGEST. DOES ANYONE KNOW OF ANY UPSCALE DATING SERVICE FOR HIGH PROFILE LESBIANS? OR A NETWORK, ORGANIZATION OR BUSINESS ORIENTATED CONFERENCE FOR GAY WOMEN? ANYTHING UNTRADITIONAL? Link to comment
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