he's going out on dates -- does that mean he's over me?

[plasticheartsandsmiles]

my ex of two years has recently started hanging out with other girls. does this necessarily mean that he's over me? about a month or so ago he admitted that he still cared about me and missed me and stuff but now he's hanging out with other girls. i'm scared that he's over me and ready to move on. is it possible that a person can move on from a 2 year relationship in like 4 months? he makes it a point to still maintain contact w/ me so i dk if that proves he isnt over me.

 

ill appreciate any answers

[melrich]

It doesn't necessarily mean that he is over you. He may be starting to date to help himself move on. It is very possible that someone could get over a 2 year relationship in 4 months. Remember, there was obviously something wrong in the relationship and he may well have spent the last part of the relationship preparing himself to move on.

[The_Doc]

No it doesn't mean he is over you.

 

I have recently started seeing a new girl after my ex broke up with me 3 months ago -- we were together 4 and 1/2 years.

 

I am still as much in love with my ex g/f as I ever was but she has made it clear that there is no chance for a reconciliation.

 

I am seeing someone new to help heal, to recover self-esteem, to boost my ego and for the company of another human being.

 

If my ex said tomorrow that she had made a mistake and wanted to try again I would embrace that chance. But she isn't going to and I have decided that I cannot live my life expecting her to change her mind. For my emotional and mental health I have to stop being an insurance policy and try to move on...

 

hope this helps

[Vert]

No it doesn't mean he is over you.

 

I have recently started seeing a new girl after my ex broke up with me 3 months ago -- we were together 4 and 1/2 years.

 

I am still as much in love with my ex g/f as I ever was but she has made it clear that there is no chance for a reconciliation.

 

I am seeing someone new to help heal, to recover self-esteem, to boost my ego and for the company of another human being.

 

If my ex said tomorrow that she had made a mistake and wanted to try again I would embrace that chance. But she isn't going to and I have decided that I cannot live my life expecting her to change her mind. For my emotional and mental health I have to stop being an insurance policy and try to move on...

 

hope this helps

 

Doc, does this new girl know that she's basically a rebound? You'd dump her if your old ex came around with interest again? I was just the rebound in a relationship where I invested a lot in the girl, but when she felt she could hit up her old ex-bf again then I was done. I think hanging out with girls is cool, but as far as getting a new girlfriend just to get over an old one... well, that's not cool for your new gf. I'd say stay single, go out in groups, have some one-on-one time with a few girls, but don't go anywhere serious.

 

I agree though that this guy is not over you unless like rich said he was already preparing himself. Was he the one that did the dumping? If so, chances are great that he was getting ready for it and was preparing his mind. The dumpee is always the one that gets blindsided.

[The_Doc]

The new girl and I had a chat about stuff last week -- she has just come out of a 4 year relationship a few months ago too... although she ended it.

 

We both agreed that we didn't want anything serious.. she asked me how I felt about my ex and I told her I still had feelings for her...

 

She said she was glad we cleared the air..

 

She will be leaving town in a few months permanently as well

 

Shes not really a 'rebound' as I don't have any feelings for her although I like her company and I am desperate to avoid a rebound anyway...

 

She is also away all this week and next with the exception of Saturday when we will hook up.

 

My ex isn't going to change her mind and get back with me... I know that now.

 

Of course I don't want to hurt the new girl -- that is why I have been straight and honest with her about my feelings and what I want.

 

Besides we have only been dating for a little over 2 weeks

[Vert]

Well that's good that you have an understanding. I guess since the new girl will be leaving in a few months then you're both basically sex buddies or what? Props to you, my friend, because I know that I wouldn't want a relationship with a chick that was leaving soon. I wouldn't want to get attached to her.