terribly confused

[shizuka]

Here goes nothing...I became attracted to one of my friends. I told her how I felt about her and she said she hadn't thought of me as more than friends (this happens so much I question my sanity at times). That was a Monday By some strange confluence of events, I ended up with my first girlfriend by Friday. That was 2 months ago. I had mentioned to my new girlfriend that my rejection had just recently occurred, but she persisted and we suddenly started dating. My girlfriend is a very outgoing, flirtatious person; I am quiet, shy, and generally very reserved. My friend volunteered that she did not think I would be happy with my new girlfriend.

 

At first, my girlfriend practically moved in with me, which put me off as I thought that was a bit fast. We had a talk about that and she backed off. Then school ended, and she called all the time. We had a fight over this, my apparent lack of energy in the relationship, and her basically running the relationship. During this time, my friend asks about my relationship nearly every day. After the fight, my friend started acting nicer for some reason.

 

Then we had another fight and I realized this relationship won't last; we're just too different. My friend and I go do stuff together as though we never had that discussion in April. I am terribly confused. I feel horrible because I feel more comfortable around my friend than my girlfriend and I can talk to her about stuff I can't talk to my girlfriend about. This probably doesn't make a lot of sense but I hope everyone can help me. I am tired of feeling like a bastardly jerk in this situation that I have probably generated to sabotage a chance at a fulfilling relationship. Please help.

[sabena]

hello..

 

You actually answered yourself in writing your problem " i feel more comfortable around my friend than my girlfriend.."..None of us like to break up but if two people are genuinely not matched don't let it drag on any more. Sit your girlfriend down and tell her about how you feel about you and her (dont mention the other girl)..Just explain to her that you feel you are too different to be dating and maybe you should just become friends.

 

You seem to have developed a fast intense relationship with her practically moving in from the start and maybe your mind is telling you that you need your own space..

 

Then give yourself a little time to work out what it is you really want before making the move with your friend

 

good luck

[Foreigner]

Hey shizuka,

 

From sabena's answer you can also see what most probably happen to you with your friend. Seeing someone "only as a friend" means not wanting him romantically.

 

Just my two cents.

 

Foreigner.

[shizuka]

Thanks for your help! I probably knew the answers but needed to hear them from someone else.