Airing out my head...

[PlayBrat]

I hope everyone is doing well.

I named this topic "Airing out my head" because it's my way of

saying I am getting my thoughts out in the open.

I have been diligent in not contacting "him" and have directed my focus

on myself. Aside from work I have busied myself with exercising. I even bought new weights, and am trying some new healthy recipes...maybe I'll

actually start eating healthier..LOL...there's hope yet.

It feels good, although, like anyone else I get my weak moments. I find myself trying to stay busy every minute of every day, in an effort to keep my mind occupied. I know the first week or two is the hardest, and this is actually one week for me. I hope it will get better with each day....

I thought of a list of reasons NOT to break contact...and I'll share it with

you all, maybe you'll get something from it too. Feel free to add any to the list:

These are reasons you should NOT break NC:

 

Because he/she didn't call you

You think they lost your number

You think they're not interested

You have two tickets to a show

You need a date for a wedding

Your mother told you to call him/her

Your friends say "Call him, it's the millineum"

Your brother said he'd be flattered if a girl called him

You want to ask him why he stopped calling

You can't sleep well since he stopped calling

You want to get his/her recipe for chili

You left your umbrella at his/her apartment

You can't live without them

You want to ask him/her what about you they didn't like. "Was it my hair? The sex? what was it? You'll change whatever it was.

 

You want to know how he's doing

You want to wish him a Happy Birthday or Happy........whatever...

Your phone number is unlisted now and you want to give them your new number

You're thinking about joining a convent and you want his opinion.

You want to know if the new woman is thinner. prettier, smarter, better in bed, or more suucessful than you are.

You're just calling to say "hi"

You're never home and you're hard to reach.

Your answering machine is broken.

You're going to Paris (his/her favorite city) and you need some sight seeing ideas.

You want to ask them ONE more time "Is it really over"??

He/she said.."call me".

 

What do you think? LOL......

[reflectionlessmirror]

You miss his cat!

[fate or freewill]

NC can really be a pain to keep up sometimes, but it's been helping me.

 

2 weeks of NC, I did slip up once and text her which got no response so I felt bad, so now 100% NC.

 

I have been thinking of breaking NC for her birthday Friday, but not sure if it's the right thing to do.

[PlayBrat]

Hey there Fate...

 

My advice on contacting her on her birthday? Don't. We can think of

a million reasons to justify contact. You've made it 2 weeks, and you said the last time she didn't even repy. Are you willing to set yourself back, yet again, on the off chance she MIGHT acknowledge you? Think about it before you make that decision... Think of YOUR best interest.

Read my list of why NOT to make contact..

 

Good luck to you

[misery12]

PlayBrat,

that pretty much sums it up, despite a few others that are personals.

Good job, must have been tough on you this past week, and you're very strong for being able to prepare a list like this, shows your dignity, and self-respect,

 

Good Work!

[fate or freewill]

Thanks PlayBrat:

 

I tell you it's been quite the nightmare, I'll do my best to make it a memorable night and get rid of that number for good. So many years, not a complete waste though, now I know what not to look for.

[Wimpy]

You want to tell him what you really think of him.

You want to ask "how could you treat me that way when you know how much I loved you"

 

I'm not having a good week. This is week 13 and I've suffered a relapse - not sure if it's to do with it being the wrong time of the month or not.... just feeling all the sadness, disbelief and general heartache of 3 months ago. When will this ever stop?

[Royltnxile]

Fate,

 

Send her a birthday card but don't call her. Purposely forgetting a birthday would be a bad mood if you have any hopes for a reunion down the road. I would advise remembering her birthday.

[PlayBrat]

Hmmm I disagree Roy. As an "EX" You are not required or obligated

to remember any special occasion with regard to an ex. Why should he acknowledge her birthday after she snubbed his last attempt at contact?

To me that's counterproductive and may only set him back. Acknowledging an "EX" on their birthday or other special occasion is merely an excuse to make contact...plain and simple. Remembering or NOT remembering someone's birthday is hardly going to get someone back or maintain their respect for you. Either it's there or it's not.

I maintain my stance to do "NC"..but that's just me...

[Cassyniner]

I just wanted to add a reason I've seen, but luckily have not used (YET) I'm just getting started, and expect to have some setbacks...But is I ever use this one, someone smack me upside the head--HARD!

 

**I have to call to tell him/her that I'm doing NC and please don't contact me!

[PlayBrat]

Hahahaha Cassy...good one

I am shocked I didn't think of that one! LOL

Yeah PLEASE don't use that one!!

[bluetrap]

Play,

 

What if you were doing NC, and they contact you 9 days into it? That is what happened to me ...

 

I did not answer the phone, but he left a voicemail saying he wanted to know how I was doing?

 

Then, is it ok to contact them back?

 

Thanks!

Blue

[PlayBrat]

My take on it is...IF your goal for doing NC is to get them back or for them to contact you...and they do...then I say yes, call them BACK, just don't initiate the calls or contact...and end the call first. Leave them wanting MORE.

 

If your goal is to get OVER them, or to gain perspective on things...then wait to call back until you feel like you are strong enough emotionally to contact them. Again, only if THEY initiate contact.

 

Hope that helps...