Totally Torn & Confused...

[MUNDU]

 

I have been in a relationship with my Girlfriend for the last 6 years, though we've broken up twice, then gotten back together. Every time we've broken up, it's because of me feeling that the relationship is stagnant, and there is no spark. I leave, stay away for say 6 months, then drag myself back to her.

 

I am the kind of person who works hard, but likes going out/travel and having fun. She, on the other hand works hard, but wants to chill at home. I have not cheated on her, though I have been tempted.

 

Well, at the beginning of this year I told her that I felt our relationship was going nowhere, and it was time we moved on. She agreed with me, but we continued living together (separate bedrooms) while waiting for our lease to expire in April. In March we had a long talk, and decided to give it one last try (1st time we made love in 3 months!!!) . Next thing I know, we are pregnant!!! I was overjoyed.

 

We've since renewed the lease, and are pretty cool with each other.

 

The thing is that I still get that nagging feeling that there is more to a relationship than what we have. I was previously in a 7 year relationship, and it was the happiest time I ever had in my life. We got along great, we did fun things together. The relationship ended after we lost our Daughter and the mother just did not want to be in a relationship anymore. So basically, I know what a really wonderful relationship feels like, and I miss that.

 

Now I accidentally met someone who is the Woman of my dreams. Intellectual, hard working and very sensual. Unfortunately my Girlfiend is pregnant, and I want to do the right thing. I have not touched the "new" Woman, but I am really wishing I was with her and she's constantly on my mind.

 

The "new" woman possesses all the qualities that would make me feel the way I did during my 7 year relationship. I have told her about my Girlfriend, and she has said that she will not interfere in our relationship, especially when there may be a child involved. She is a religious person and very strict about doing the "right thing". I guess it's just lucky that she lives on the East Coast while I live on the West Coast, coz who knows what I may have done if she were around the corner...

 

One last thing: I have known my current Girlfriend ever since she was pretty young (I went to High School and College with her elder Brother). I know all her Family. I feel that my breaking up with her would really disappoint her family, and mine, as they believe we have a perfect relationship and are all awaiting the wedding announcement.

 

Like I said, I am Damned if I do, Damned if I don't!!!

 

Please HELP ME...

 

 

[dextro]

Play card on table. be sure of what you want first ! You want a family with her or with the new woman. And never forget its all beautiful and full of passion on the beginning do you think a 6 years relationship have to finish like that? Its all up to you bro. I never been to relation like that im kinda hard living I guess hehe. But sicne you are craving for that woman you should tell her whats happening too.

 

peace out

 

Jeff l. Spiegel

[Ephemeral 2]

Dear Mundu,

 

Where to start... well first you said that there is no spark in your relationship with your girl and that you aren't completely content in being with her. So thereforeeeeee I say move on. I can understand how you don't want to disappoint your family but being with your girl and her being with you is not fair to the both of you. Especially since you both had agreed in the first place that your relationship was going nowhere. Both your families will get over it.

 

I can understand that you feel obligated to do the right thing by her since she is pregnant but that does not mean you have to marry her. It's the 21st century after all. I strongly believe that two people should never ever get married with each other until both are truly in love with each other. Marriage is a partnership where both should be happy while facing the challenges of life together.

 

Getting married just because she is preganant is a horrid reason. First of all you won't be able to make each other completely happy that could lead to either infidelity or a very early divorce. You must also think about your child. What kind of example would the child witness as they grow up. No child should ever have to go through a divorce right a long with their parents. It would be a very painful experience.

 

You can still do the right thing by her, by being there physically and emotionally for your child as a father and be there as a great friend to your girl. Let her know that you will always be there for the both of them and help her provide for your child as he/she grows up.

 

Set yourself and her free to lead your own lives. You could work things out with that woman you accidentally met or find someone else and your current g/f will also find someone else. Before that though talk things out with your girl so that there will be no hard feelings.

 

Good Luck!

 

Sincerley,

Ephemeral