3 month breakup anniversary

[angel1211]

So today makes 3 months since break up and I still think about her, not as much though. An 8 month relationship isnt that long but the way I felt about her was very true and deep. It truly did cut like a knife. Sometimes I wish I could just stop thinking about her completely. 3 months seems like its been a long time but i'm sure it isn't. I've had longer relationships that ranged from 1 to 5 years and it took at least a year to get over them and sometimes more. I guess my question is, will it take less time to get over someone of only 8 months?

[Softmoonlight]

Hey bud,

 

I think in another month or so you should be feeling better.

 

You said that you only dated 8 months...I honestly think it hurts more to date someone for a shorter period of time than a long one. When you've dated someone for years you know the relationship has sort of 'burned out' and you come to a quicker realization that things aren't working out/never will.

 

When you date someone a shorter amount of time, there's more thought of "what might have been," so don't beat yourself up! You're doing great and I'm sure you're making great progress.

 

Hang in there!

[angel1211]

Thanks Softmoonlight. That was very nice for you to say. I think I need to change this date of the month as a time of celebration. Instead of sulking every 7th of the month, I think I will enjoy myself in some form. In fact, July 7th will be great right! Thanks again for the encouragement and you are right, the shortest ones are always the hardest and this is definitely hard but I believe it will get easier.

 

thanks again

[RegretfulStudent]

Hawaii,

I am in the exact same boat as you.. 8 month relationship over and it's been close to 3 months. The really crappy part is that they say it takes half the time you dated someone to be completely over them, unfortunately the math works out for us so that will be right around what would have been the one year anniversary. It's pretty frustrating knowing all the things I had planned for that night. Another part that hurts about the short relationship is that you figure any problems you had can be worked out, while it was just easier for her to jump ship.

 

Another pitfall I hope you aren't falling into is worrying about whether or not she thinks/misses you. Heck, my life is fuller now then it was when I was with her. I'm playing golf twice a week, going on trips, and going out all the time. Sometimes I brainwash myself though and think that these activities feel empty without her. Just remember our hidden weapon: we're guys. We may feel depressed every now and then, but in the end she will have to live with the decision she made and it will eat at a woman much more.

[angel1211]

Hey RS, you are so right when you say that getting over someone will be around the anniversary date. To that next month will make what would have been a year is really scary. I really hope that I am really busy that day and I will not even come to mind. If she broke up with after a year, I think it would have been harder. So in a way, i'm glad she did it earlier knowing that there wouldnt be a future for us. I'm already half way there in healing. At least she was honest right.

[RegretfulStudent]

I somehow had the foresight about the future anniversary and got that stuff off my chest when she broke up with me. The day she broke up with me I told her all the stuff I had already planned. I told her that we were going to go on a dinner cruise. I told her that we would step out onto the deck and I was going to slip a ring on her finger and then tell her 'maybe I can exchange this ring for another one in year or two.' I'm glad I told her all that, because now she'll have to deal with that in a month instead of it eating at me. Unfortunately, after that my memory will force all the 'I remember that she and I did such and such at this time last year.'

 

I'm not sure about the honesty. I guess I just have it hardwired in my head that any issue can be resolved and will work towards that.

[angel1211]

you know, i remember asking her the same thing as well. she told me if it was her choice, she would marry me. but because her background is muslim and i, christian, it would never have the approval of her parents. i dont know if i mentioned this to you or another member but her parents had found her someone to possibly marry within her own race and culture. she made her choice not be with me so she cant possibly say it wasnt her choice. i guess blood is really thicker than water.

 

what is really amazing is that how can someone who says she loves you so much, give you up for someone your parents agree with. so while my heart still continues to mend, she moves on and gets involved with someone else. i dont know what hurts more, a woman leaving because she is sick and tired of you or a woman leaving you because her culture demands it.