Kinda wanna know how’s he doing…

[Mozzarella_Stick]

So I’m gay and in 2022 I started hooking up with this guy who I’ll just call Bob.
 

Bob was 33 and I was 20, so obviously there was a big age gap, but I didn’t really care.  In the months leading up to me meeting Bob, he was hooking up with another guy around my age so obviously it wasn’t only me who was interested. 

The first thing I learned about Bob was that he had recently gotten out of a bad relationship, and it had completely torn his life apart.
 

Basically what happened was that Bob had been dating this guy for 10 years, and things seemed to be going alright, but when they got engaged, this guy started acting very disinterested, both sexually and emotionally, so they agreed to have an open relationship. 
 

In doing so Bob met this guy who I’ll call Josh. Josh is from New York but lived in Florida when him and Bob had met, and Bob said that he fell madly in love with Josh despite him being nothing more than a hoe on the side, so, he started dating both Josh and the guy from the 10-year-old relationship simultaneously.
 

This is where things went south because none of these three men were content in being in a three way relationship. So then Josh moved back to New York and Bob dumped his boyfriend of 10 years, leading all three of these men to go their separate ways, and, in turn, it made Bob super depressed and uber obsessed with both men, which became apparent the longer I knew him. They were literally 90% of what he talked about to me for MONTHS.
 

So in December Bob and I hung out and had sex twice in one sitting, and then a couple days later he told me Josh and him had gotten back together and that Josh would be moving back to Florida to be with him. 

I was hurt and him and I had a lot of long conversations about a lot of different things and we agreed to be friends, although I knew it wasn’t actually going to happen. We continued talking and hung out here and there, before Josh had arrived in Florida. 
 

So in April I wished Bob a happy 34th birthday and he said thank you and invited me to dinner with him and Josh, so I agreed, but then the actual day of he didn’t message me so I ghosted him and that was the last we ever spoke. 
 

So I know it’s been months and he has a boyfriend now, but I can’t help but wonder how he’s doing and how he actually feels about me.

I’m not actually gonna unblock him and message him but I’m curious… and more importantly I wanna know why. Why do I care how he’s doing or how he really feels about me? 

[Batya33]

It’s fine to wonder. And choose not to act on it by contacting the person. Maybe you’re bored etc and social media makes it easy to track what people are up to. I’d choose not to react to the feelings by contacting him. Keep busy instead. He’s really just a former sex partner. 

[SooSad33]

8 hours ago, Mozzarella_Stick said:

So I know it’s been months and he has a boyfriend now, but I can’t help but wonder how he’s doing and how he actually feels about me.

I’m not actually gonna unblock him and message him but I’m curious… and more importantly I wanna know why. Why do I care how he’s doing or how he really feels about me? 

Nah, you don't want to go there.. believe me 😕 .

It is best for YOU to completely work on your healing and moving on from all of that.  It was toxic for you.  He was rebounding and just using you 😕 .

Learn from this experience.  Learn self respect and learn when someone is rebounding eg.  newly out of a ltr, always talking about their ex, etc.

Look at this as an experience.  Where you may have been ready, willing and able, he was not!  And this behaviour was quite selfish.

Take care of YOU now.  Good luck 🙂