Playing the waiting game, but confusion reigns!!!!

[doblersdream]

To make things more confusing, another woman has asked me out. That's two in less than a week! I know I shouldn't complain, and that lots of people would love that. Normally I would too, but it's making things more difficult for me. I put the first off by saying I'd maybe call her sometime, but the other is a different story. I'd went with her very briefly just prior to my ex, and she is a great person. Smart, sexy and independently successful. I haven't given her an answer yet. I want to wait and resolve things either way with my ex. It wouldn't be fair on anyone if i was to just use this girl as a distraction/ego boost to pass the time, would it?

[dextro]

No dont ever say "USED" what about you tell her about your girl??? Be honest, and also tell her you need company and maybe she'll become a good friend of you if you dont stabbed her/use her.

 

Jeff l. Spiegel

[charmed]

I myself was in a relationship where after 3-4 weeks, we confessed love, love love for each other. Everyone that knew us could not get over how in love we were, both privately and publicly - it really was a great time for me. If we split up for a couple of weeks during that time (we subsequently did a number of times), I never wanted other girls. Infact the funny thing is that women seem to be drawn to the man who is involved (be it still or presently involved). You on the other hand, if you are so sure that this girl is the one, should really not be as open as you seem to the concept of getting with someone else already!

 

Don't take this the wrong way, it's a small observation - but you should be spending some time figuring out what it is that you want yourself. While a connection is important, in this day and age is that enough for you? The children will complicate things naturally, but they are also a great plus, and a common situation shared.

 

Are you after an ego boost/distraction to pass the time?

By passing time do you mean that you are waiting for her to do something? You are either waiting or you are not. You would not expect her to get with someone else while she decides what to do about your relationship.

 

The gig is a great idea - and hopefully she will be into it. You should lay the whole thing out on a plate for her - and make sure that there is absolutely no pressure on her to answer to you about the relationship. The time should be sused to remind her why you were together and the connection you had.

 

Also, make a plan b for yourself. If this is to be one opportunity to speak (be it over phone or in person etc), use it wisely. If she says she is not into the gig for whatever reason, don't go "oh......pause.......OK......eh...." and run ! Get another plan together so you are not caught off guard there - like meet up for something else - or get the kids together etc...

 

Hang in there and good luck !

 

How this helps,

 

Charmed

[Jitrenda]

I agree with dextro. Just tell her you are still wanting to get back with your ex...although you would love to have her company and would only like her as friend. If she wants something more, let her know that you cannot offer that right now. and you are not "using" her. Just let her know the situation and then leave the choice up to her. You shouldn't stop having a life, waiting on your ex. And it's only as friends.

 

Just roll with the punches.

 

Relax...enjoy yourself!