Afraid to commit?

[Random Hero]

I really need help, none of my friends have any idea what to do either.

 

I met this girl from the girlfriend of a friend. I was told she really likes me, and that I should get to know her better, which I did. I asked her out once and she said no, with what seemed like good reason when I phoned her. She hasn't shown up at the last few parties I've gone to, perhaps because of me being there.

 

Her friends said they think she's shy and afraid of getting a boyfriend, even though she wants one. I'd still like to go out with her, but it seems that everytime I try she backs off and I know that she's too shy to do anything about it herself.

 

Does anyone have any idea what I should do?

[annie24]

Well - if you ask her out, and she says no, that says one of three things:

 

1) She's not interested in you - what you heard was a bad rumor.

 

2) She's interested, but has a boyfriend

 

or

 

2) She likes you, but is really really shy And has some major problems. Don't get involved. I mean - if a guy asks out a normal girl, and she likes him, she says yes, and they go on the date. I think trying to decode this behavior is a waste of time.

 

Good luck.

[Random Hero]

Well I know she doesn't have a boyfriend, and I don't think it was a rumor, since it came directly from her best friend, who was trying to set us up at the time. I thought she liked me anyway from how she was acting, I still do think she likes me, I just think she is afraid or shy.

 

I don't want something like shyness stopping anything from happening, if she genuinely doesn't like me then thats fine.

[annie24]

How did you ask her out, and how did she say no?

[Random Hero]

I just asked if she wanted to go see a film, I text her. She said no cos she didn't want to see the film. So I assumed that she didn't like me, and phoned her. We talked for about half an hour, and it turned out she just didn't want to see it, it had nothing to do with me.

 

After that I thought she liked me, that was about a week ago now.

[annie24]

Ok - well - why don't you ask her out like, "Hey - let's go get dinner together, and then maybe we can watch a movie - any movie you'd like!"

 

Hehehe... I made that mistake when I was in high school also. A guy came up to me and asked if I wanted to watch a certain movie, I said no (I didn't want to see that movie).... then I quickly caught myself and said, "Oh - But, I would like to see this OTHER movie..."

[Random Hero]

Yeah, I just tried phoning her now, but she didn't answer, then I remembered shes got an exam today so she will of left her phone at home. I'll phone her later.

 

The problem is I'm busy the next few days, and I need to revise, then I have exams, so I won't really be free til the 10th of june, but I'll see what she says anyway.

[annie24]

Yeah - that sounds like a plan. If you suggest a certain day to hang out, and she "can't make it that day," suggest another day, or ask her when she is free. That way - if she keeps waffeling, at least you'll know and you can move on. Good luck!