dating asian gals u pay for it all

[joe45]

to the guys here both white and asian or....etc who have dated asian gals -when u guys went out who pays. i am chinese and my mom says in the chinese culture if the guy and gal(dating) go out in the chinese or say asian culture it is the guy who should pay for everything and anything and this is not just on the first date but every date. how did u guys go about it. was there ever any fights or conflicts. what did u guys do on ur dates. any differ between dating asian gals and white gals -personality wise. i was even told the girl doesn;t even touch a dime b/c if the girl has to pay on a date- i am taking about paying for her own share-the meaning behind that is she isn't even worth it.

on wedding day the guy pays for the wedding costs as in western culture the bride family pays for it so cultural conflict arises.

[thatguy04]

Well personally, my mom's filipino, and she expects me, or any other guy for that matter, to take care of everything the girl in the couple needs, in a date and more. She really emphesises it when the girl is asian as well. Good luck with it though, I'm not sure its the same for all asians, but apparently it is for the chinese and filipinos .

[lifeiscash]

I'm not married but as your concerned with dating I can give you a clear answer.

 

If a girl is acknowledged by the guy and the guy asks the girl out on the first date then the guy should attempt to pay. The reason why is because he initiated the date.

 

If the girls initiates a date with the man then the women should feel obligated to pay because it is the women who is asking out the man. However the guy might still offer to pay and that will be up to you if you accept the offer or not.

 

There are no standard rules to paying when dating so this is why it creates so many conflicts and hassles in the dating world. The guy should not have to pay for everything and he should not have to pay for the girl's interest. However if the girl is interested she should attempt to pay for things from time to time or the guy might feel used.

 

BTW I am white

[elila]

I know what you're talking about, some of my asian friends expect that the guy should ALWAYS pay, however, some white girls think the same thing. I certainly don't. (I'm a white girl btw)

 

I think it's very old-fashioned. Back then, sure, in both eastern and western countries it was expected of the man because he was the one who brought home the bacon. But now? Men and women both have jobs- women are just as capable of getting a well-paying career. They can both pay for themselves or treat the other person.

[kungfumaster]

hah!! that's funny! well - let me tell you, i've dated my fair share of asian ladies, and i'm still dating them

 

it actually just depends on the lady to be honest. its not culture in fact - it just depends on the lady.

 

if the lady is independent (has her own job, pays for her own bills (usually, these are asian-american girls, but not all of them, i.e., born in canada or the states, but of asian descent)), then she doesn't mind paying her share, or even paying for the whole thing.

 

if the lady is more traditional, still in school, her parents are paying her way or helping her out (usually born in an asian country, and at least in her teens when coming to north america), then she will not likely pay for anything - well, little stuff here and there, but you pay the chunk of it most of the time.

 

happy dating!

[asdf]

the girl would usually prefer if you paid, even if she insists to pay for some, otherwise she'll think you're cheap. i've also heard of occasions where if a girl just isn't interested in the guy, she'll offer to split it, so she doesn't feel like she owes him anything.

[wlfpack81]

I'm old-fashioned I guess. When a guy doesn't offer to pay, I think of him as cheap and I become less interested in him. It's not a matter of money either--we could be talking about a soda machine even. It has to do with being felt like they want to take care of you.

 

But I bet if a guy asked you to cook dinner every night you'd be pissed right? Just asking...I mean if we're gonna stay old-fashonied here then the lady prepares the food, takes care of the clothes etc. while the guy pays for everything. If you try to mix new and old it won't work at all and will piss most guys off.

[wlfpack81]

I haven't had a problem with the guys I've dated. Must be a generational thing. Guys from my generation never complained about who paid what.

 

Btw, they also open car doors for me too.

 

I didn't say I had a problem with paying or opening doors etc. but I was just curious as to what response you'd give me. Nothing I can't stand more than a lady who expects guys to fit the traditional gender role and but then don't want to do it themselves. I mean in theory if the guy is supposed to be the bread winner, pay for everything, cut the grass, do all the honey do's then the lady should cook etc. LOL

 

And just for the record b4 someone tries to flame me on this I don't want a traditional stay at home, cooks all the time, submissive wife. I want someone w/a brain who works and who doesn't mind paying for dinner every once in a while though I don't have much problem with me having to pay either. I just wanted to make that statement in the paragraph above b/c I'm all about principles and if someone expects me to act a certain way then I expect them to act a certain way as well.

[wlfpack81]

The guys I've dated liked a woman with a brain (master's level, btw). They didn't expect a submissive partner either and it wasn't a big deal wheter or not I cooked for them.

 

Well hooray for you then. LOL Still I don't like this "I want my cake and it to attitude." That's all I'm saying. If I ever get married I don't expect my wife to probably know how to cook and don't really care if she does or not.

 

I WAS JUST TRYING TO MAKE A POINT!!! Again basically to sum it up I have the " If I have to do it then you do too", "if I have to go down with the ship you do too", "fI I have to feel sad then you do too," type of attitude. Meaning if someone did want me to fit that stereotypical role of wanting a man to do this, then yea you're right I expect you to fit role to a point as well. Forget this crap where I have to act like ht 1950's husband. Women today are supposed to be super independent etc. so why the need for me to act like I'm in the "Leave it to Beaver" era? Your check can go into the house acct and help pay for bills just like mine. IMO it's better when 2 people share bills equally is possible that wya one partner doesn't feel they have control over another via money.

 

There I'm done b/c I believe I had a run in w/you before on a topic similar to this (well maybe not you but it was somewhere on this board before) and it wasn't fun.

[joe45]

ok letting the guy pay for all ok. then how does hte guy now that the girl is really into him and not just for the freebies.some girls are just big pretenders making u believe they are all into u buit they aren;t or juggling another guy they are into but wanting u b/c u have some specific assets or something. come on dating and going out is $$$. women make good money these days or just as much. my cousin a draftsperson and his gf is accountant she makes more and guess who still pays -yea him it sucks.

[wlfpack81]

Wow....you sound like a real catch......

 

And so do you Hey not my fault some dude in the past treated you like crap. I say this b/c I've read some of your other posts and you sound even more freaking jaded than me and some others guys who post here. Honestly I'm sorry you had to go through whatever BS you did what whatever guy / guys but geeez. Just like women don't like to all be thrown into one category guys don't either to keep your anger directed towards those fellas who did you wrong okay.