Invited someone I’ve been flirting with over tonight

[Tinydance]

6 hours ago, Somedaysoon4483 said:

Thank you for all the replies! It’s helpful to talk it out and get feedback. 

More context: He has a “history” of bragging about different girls liking him and talking about how attractive he finds other girls. I know this makes him sound like a complete jerk, and it is a jerk move to be sure, but they are passing comments and he has other redeeming qualities.

We are in our early 20s so that’s the maturity level we’re working with here.

I do want to date him ultimately but my plan for the night I invited him over was to hook up. I had the mindset of “if this doesn’t lead to anything serious, that’s okay.”

I had been encouraged because after that night, I thought he’d probably not text me anymore but he ended up initiating another text conversation the following evening. We’ve been texting regularly for about 2 weeks now.

Unfortunately it’s been a couple days now since I’ve heard from him. I hesitate to reach out because I still don’t know how he feels about me. One of my biggest fears is being a burden and/or unwanted. So reaching out to someone who isn’t receptive is terrifying to me.

I know the healthy, mature thing to do is come out and let him know how I feel, but I’ve been rejected soundly in the past and that is still with me to this day. I’d rather never say anything and just wonder than put myself out there and be completely turned down. 

 

Well to be really honest I don't think it sounds promising with this guy. I think he probably either just wants to be friends or he likes your attention but ultimately isn't that interested. Talking to you about other girls is poor form. I think if he was attracted to you he would at least try to kiss you if he was at your place. If he's such a Casanova with girls then why is he doing nothing? 

I understand you're shy and quiet but what you have in your favour is you're a girl. If you went on dating apps you'd get hundreds of messages, I guarantee you. On apps like Tinder you'd have many guys who would want to hook up with you. I'm 36 and I'm overweight and I still get a lot of messages on online dating. When you're in your early 20's, the dating pool is so much larger so there's plenty of other guys out there.

I understand these days there's a hookup culture but I don't actually think that hooking up casually and then hoping it'll lead to a relationship actually works. Especially not with a guy who seems to be some kind of player.