I texted my Ex

[SaiKiiAdou]

Hi good people of eNA!

 

So, I will try to keep this short and will not go into detail about the relationship (or this would turn into a novel).

 

I texted my Ex with whom I did not have ANY contact in more than 4 years.

I saw that he checked one of my SocialMedia profils a few weeks ago which tbh surprised me and send me into a bit of a spiral.

 

Our relationship was good until it turned very bad, for reasons I'm still not sure about. He dumped me in the end. 

And I fully admit: eventhough he treated me terrible, there is a small part of me that never got fully over him and always saw him as special. 

 

Anyway, he was VERY receptive and we chatted for a day. It has now been two days since my last message and he hasn't responded. So I guess it is save to assume that this was it.

 

I knew, going into it, that I would get hurt. I hoped it would help me FINALLY closing this chapter of my life and moving on...I guess I just finally came to terms with the fact that I was not special to him and just one in a long list of conquests. I should have been able to gather this from the way he treated me before and during the breakup but it seems I was not. 

 

I have a really hard time understanding why I am so stuck on this person (and yes, I have made an appointment with a psychologist). He was not my first relationship, he wasn't my last... Maybe it is because it was my best and my worst relationship at the same time...

 

I just really needed to share this with someone and I didn't feel comfortable going to my friends or family with it. Maybe someone has some advice or support.

 

Thank you for reading :)

[MissCanuck]

It would be best for you to block him from all points of contact now. 

You had a chat but that's where it ends. Good for you for making an appointment with a professional who can help untangle your emotions about him. I would also strongly recommend journalling to get your thoughts out. It's a form of venting without having to reveal anything private to another person.

Some questions I would ask myself in the same position, possibly to reflect on in said journal: What did I hope to gain from contacting this person? How's my self-esteem in general? Why do I measure it by his response to me? What are the things I say to myself about the end of this relationship? Why do I believe the negatives to be true? 

[Wiseman2]

3 hours ago, SaiKiiAdou said:

I have made an appointment with a psychologist.  it was my best and my worst relationship at the same time..

Excellent. Discuss with the psychologist the difference between intensity (which is indicated by simultaneous best and worst) and intimacy.

Overall when something that's been over and done with in the past disturbs you this much, it's about what's happening in the present that allows an obsession like this to take hold.

 

[SaiKiiAdou]

thank you both for your comments 🙂

 

I probably should have added that I'm quiet fresh out of an relationship. It was my decision to end it as we were romantically not compatible but it still hurt. I'm not in the most stable place emotionally right now. 

 

I'm already starting to feel better