SaiKiiAdou

He sounds very overinvolved in your life and it seems to me he never really was your friend, just laying in wait till he could swoop in and date you. I might be wrong but thats the feeling I am getting. You did the right thing. Be civil around each other and maybe after a few years an actual friendship can redevelop.

Have you considered that what you want and what you need are not necessarily the same thing? I used to be a ugly teenager and grew into an attractiv woman and for most of my twenties I went after a very specific typ of men: significantly older, well established, handsome and extroverted. Why? because thats the typ of guy that wouldnt even glance at me, had we been in highschool together and I wanted to prove to myself and the world that I could now get that kinda guy. Of course all those relationships were terribly toxic and in some causes traumatic. It wasent till I learned to prioritise how a guy treated me and made me feel that I found a healthy relationship. Im not saying date someone you are not attracted to but maybe there are more important factors for a relationship than hair length?

I have known a few couples with bigger women and thin guys...seems not super exotic to me 🙂 You are young so I think its normal that you are worried about what other people out there think. As long as you know that they dont make the rules 😉 Sure there are probably people out there that judge, there always are, but deep down they probably wish they were in a relationship like yours, where they are accepted and loved just as they are.

I generally second this. To me it seems you are looking to relationships for something you are not giving yourself, leading to get hung up to a person way too fast (been there done that). I'd also like to add to the sleeping-over thing, being the same age range as you: I'd not go home to a guy on the third date if I wasn't at least comfortable with the thought of sex. However, I feel you overcompensated with your respons (which seems to be a thing for you). I don't think there was a need to explain so much. Just a "no worries if you want to go home" would do. While I don't think you have to stop seeing her, you need to start working on your issues asap (with a therapist!) and slow your roll with her by a lot. All the best 🙂

thank you both for your comments 🙂 I probably should have added that I'm quiet fresh out of an relationship. It was my decision to end it as we were romantically not compatible but it still hurt. I'm not in the most stable place emotionally right now. I'm already starting to feel better

Hi good people of eNA! So, I will try to keep this short and will not go into detail about the relationship (or this would turn into a novel). I texted my Ex with whom I did not have ANY contact in more than 4 years. I saw that he checked one of my SocialMedia profils a few weeks ago which tbh surprised me and send me into a bit of a spiral. Our relationship was good until it turned very bad, for reasons I'm still not sure about. He dumped me in the end. And I fully admit: eventhough he treated me terrible, there is a small part of me that never got fully over him and always saw him as special. Anyway, he was VERY receptive and we chatted for a day. It has now been two days since my last message and he hasn't responded. So I guess it is save to assume that this was it. I knew, going into it, that I would get hurt. I hoped it would help me FINALLY closing this chapter of my life and moving on...I guess I just finally came to terms with the fact that I was not special to him and just one in a long list of conquests. I should have been able to gather this from the way he treated me before and during the breakup but it seems I was not. I have a really hard time understanding why I am so stuck on this person (and yes, I have made an appointment with a psychologist). He was not my first relationship, he wasn't my last... Maybe it is because it was my best and my worst relationship at the same time... I just really needed to share this with someone and I didn't feel comfortable going to my friends or family with it. Maybe someone has some advice or support. Thank you for reading :)