Friend to Girlfriend, confused

[phillstratten]

Hi

Im 18 and just about to finish my first year at university. my question relates to a girl that lives in the same house as me on campus. over the last 6 months we have natrually become friends. however i would like this to become more. i cant put my finger on it but i really feel that she would be the perfect girlfriend for me. My problem is that i am fairly reserved and would have problems "jusk asking her out" as many people suggest. i want to make sure that she feels the same way first. sometimes she seems to be very friendly with me and other times she appears pretty uninterested in spending time with me, which has gotten me a little confused During the easter holiday we were planning to go on holiday together but she backed out at the last minute supposedly due to work reasons . I dont mean to sound smug but i think im fairly good looking and do a lot of interesting stuff, sailing/pilots license etc.. however im pretty shy and have never had a proper girlfriend. i would be greatful for any advice you guys can give me on what steps to take i.e. how to find out if she is actually interested in me or not.

Thank You

[DropToZero]

If you aren't already....flirt with her, you'll know based on her reactions and respones to it. You've gotta learn to flirt if you don't know how, go out with some guy friends and learn..I don't care, learn....then you'll never ask another question like this again because you'll know the answer, trust me. Good luck

[phillstratten]

Thanks for the fast reply

Yeah i guess i could try a bit harder but like i said sometimes i get good responses and sometimes not so i dont wanna come on too strong.

[ksk0_0]

Yeah i guess i could try a bit harder but like i said sometimes i get good responses and sometimes not so i dont wanna come on too strong.

 

Everyone is different - you have your own method/ways, so really; theres your boundary for "coming on too strong"

[phillstratten]

well i better pull something out of the bag cos next week is the last and i probably wont see her for 3-4months

[igor512]

Ask for her phone number! If you haven't already. Call and chat. See where it goes. That will at least buy you the first few weeks of summer, assuming you'd be able to hang out with her.

[phillstratten]

thanks for the reply but i already got her number, like i said were fairly good friends. during the summer we'll be living about 300miles apart which is kind of a downer I guess ill have to pick up where i left of next september.

[Minty80]

I know you don't want to hear this but I'd do my best to prepare myself for whatever she might say and then just ask.

 

My boyfriend and I were purely friends for 10 years before we started dating. When we both ended up single neither of us were sure what the other was feeling, it was very confusing. Finally my boyfriend pulled me aside to a private area when we were out with a group of friends one night and told me there was something he had been debating telling me for awhile and he had to just say it.

 

So he told me he liked me (was actually not what I was expecting at all, like I said confusion abounded on both sides) and he was pleasantly surprised to find that I returned his feelings. He said it fully expecting that I would not return his feelings, but he felt it was worth the risk rather than continuing to wonder "what if?" for another 10 years.

 

Oh and we were at a bar and had a pint or two in us at that point so that probably helped, lol.

 

I really think your best bet is to just go for it. Even if it means telling yourself that the answer will probably be no, but doing it anyway. There's really no other way to know for sure.