Help, extremely urgency to break NC

[mexicanfriend]

Please, I need help, I feel a extremely urgency to break NC... I'm just so upset right now... I feel anger against my EX.

 

I dont wanna see him... I don't understand why he left me....

 

Please, help me not to break NC

[Hope75]

Hi Mexican,

 

Don't do it! What is making you so upset?

 

Talk to me instead.

[mexicanfriend]

Thank you Hope75,

 

I don't know... Sometimes i just feel that i miss him a lot and I wanna hear his voice... I just dont understand why he left me, I thought he love me

 

I try to get over this, but it's been so difficult... maybe i've been thinking of him a lot today, i read some of the postings of other people and i felt like it was my situation too... it makes me angry to know that he told me that he is not with someone else now, but i've seen that other ex's have told the same and actually they have you as a back up

 

I'm angry because i won't have a place to live anymore, and that he will be sharing OUR apartment, OUR furniture with someone else...

 

I feel upset with him, because all the planning, all the dreams of a future together, my future as well, are now gone.

 

I feel upset because i know that he is doing excellent and here i am in pain.

[Hope75]

HI Mexican,

 

I am sorry that you are going through this. I know what it's like to be uprooted from your home, I had to move out of my bf's house last winter, in the middle of finals, in the icy rain and snow... it sucks.

 

I think I remember a little bit about why you guys broke up, but would you mind refreshing me?

 

You know that if your ex is disrespecting you and stringing you along that you are better off not talking to him, right?

 

Stay strong! You can do this.

 

Hope

[iamonlyhuman]

DONT CONTACT HIM, Girlfriend I feel for ya, I was there once too, and you know what I did when I had that feeling of anger and sadness, you get your pillow and punch it real hard until you can't punch it nomore..... cry if you need to, call a friend and have a chat about how you are feeling.

I swear to God it will make you feel alot better, I do it all the time when those feelings come.

 

PLEASE do this!, you will feel better for it.. everyday will get better, small steps ok?... slowly but surely you WILL come through this!

 

Like I said I felt like you 3 weeks back, now I feel I better for not contacting him, he intiated contact rather becasue he was wondering why I had stopped calling him....

 

IF he says he doesnt have anyone right now, then you should use this to stop worrying, he maybe confused it happens....

 

If you give him time to sought his head out he will repsect you for that so please please stick by your guns girl!! YOU CAN DO IT, YOU KNOW YOU CAN, YOU ARE STRONGER THAN THIS!!

 

Remember to punch those pillows ok??, and come on here when ever your feeling down we are here to help and call some friends , let it all out.... YOU WILL FELL BETTER...

[mexicanfriend]

Thanks Hope75.

 

Long story short... Dating the bfd for almost 4 years, we were engaged to marry next January, suddendly he told me he doesn't love me anymore, don't wanna be with me... He and I were long distance for the past months (starting on Feb) because of my job.

 

After he gave me non-sense reasons, I asked him to tell me why, he said because he doesn't find me attractive anymore... After sharing 4 years and supposed to be married soon (apartment, furniture, wedding dress)

 

he didn't give me signs, and he broke up by phone.

 

It's been very difficult... I'm sorry to hear that you went through the same.

 

I just dont want to continue like this, but I dont know what to do... I will see him next week that I will pick up my stuff, and honestly i dont want to, i'm not sure if i'm going to break down and start crying

 

I haven't talked to him since saturday and it's been 3 weeks of the breakup, i should be feeling better by now... i was so in love with him... and i think i still am

[WebChick]

Mexican, don't call him!!!!!!

don't write him

Don't text him...no no no no no....

Why?? Because if you don't get the reaction you wish for you are back at square one.

This guy is a real weasel for breaking up with you on the phone after 4 years!!! That in itself should make you mad enough to spit nails! He broke up with you because HE is a a self centered jerk with no balls!

(Is this helping yet)? You get the picture...

Another thing that works is imaginging them in the most UNattractive

scenerio possible... like on the toilet..lmao.

Or with ugly missing teeth...or bald in 10 years..lol

Do whatever makes YOU feel better. Don't worry about HIM...you are the important one here!! Remember that!

[mexicanfriend]

Thank you iamonlyhuman...

 

Thanks for your advice, I think i will call my best girlfriend now and just vent... the pillow is a good idea actually

 

Hope you're doing OK too...

 

Thanks again for listening and replying.

[iamonlyhuman]

.

Be incharge of your emotions, if you know seeing him could make you breakdown, tell him to leave your stuff out the door when your on your way to avoid seeing him.

 

Let him see you are mature in the way you are dealing with this!

Don't show you are needy and broken down, stay strong!!.

[imagi]

I agree with not contacting him. It's quite natural to still feel like you're in love with him. It's only been three weeks, and being in a relationship for that long with someone is going to take more time than that to get over. I can't even imagine how much that hurts to have someone who you'd been together with for so long to suddenly break up with you. You're going to need more time to mourn and grieve over losing this relationship.

 

I hope that you're okay this weekend.

Stay strong.

Miranda

[mexicanfriend]

WebChick,

 

Thanks! you made me laugh with the most UN-ATTRACTIVE situation

 

I think I will be thinking about that every single time that I think of him lol

 

Unfortunately I cannot use the "getting bald" because that actually is happening and it didn't even matter to me.

 

But i will try to picture on funny situations or embarrasing for him!

 

iamonlyhuman,

 

Unfortunately my stuff is A LOT, and he is using it right now... half the furniture is mine, so it is not that easy he didn't even offer to go to a friend those days, so i could be in peace at the apartment, and now i am the fool staying at a hotel there anyways, i know i'm strong and i can do this, i know... thanks for your encouragement!

[WebChick]

LOL Mexican...you gotta learn to use your sense of humor in these times.

It will save you from falling apart.

Another situation is thinking of him hooking with some disgusting fat

sweathog...lmao..you can REALLY think of him in disgust then...AND feel a LOT more attractive too!!

[mexicanfriend]

Thank you ladies... Thank you very very very much...

 

I feel better now... at least the urgency to call him is gone

 

Thanks so much for listening and replying... I hope you guys are doing well, I know how difficult it is... Hang in there, I will do the same.

 

Sense of humor and being strong, I'll keep that in mind

 

Thanks with all my heart.

 

Cheers

[Hope75]

Hi Mexican,

 

Ah yes, I remember your story. Of course you are still in love with him, it's only been three weeks. I am sorry you are going through this, it's so hard, especially with no warning from him and then to break up with you over the phone..... it's deplorable.

 

Give yourself some time, it's going to take awhile to get used to the idea that your life is not going to be like you planned with him, but that doesn't have to be a bad thing.

 

This is a good thing that you found out before you walked down the aisle with this man. If after four years he can't even talk with you face to face, and offers a lame excuse like he did for the reason for your breakup, he is the the guy you would want to marry anyway.

 

Keep reminding yourself what he did to you. It helps keep you strong and convicted in not contacting him, and definetely lean on your friends right now, they are your best support system.

 

Hang in there!