How do you figure out if a girl is dating someone

[carl4]

I have this one girl in my class that I have been trying for weeks to figure out if see has a boyfriend. Do you have any ideas?

[sidhat]

Dude,

 

Ask her directly..

[band geek]

sidhat is totaly right you should ask her correctly.

[PhoenixInATL]

You could try something like (i.e. let's say you run into her at a game or at a dance or a party or whatever), "So where's your boyfriend?"

 

If you don't tend to see her outside of class, then how about just asking her out? If she has a boyfriend, she'll tell you. In fact, you can go up to her as class is letting out and be honest. Just say, "You know, I've been trying to figure out now for awhile if you have a boyfriend, because I'd like to ask you out to dinner." Leave it at that, and then just see what she says! Even if she does have a boyfriend, I can guarantee that she'd be flattered. And that's a good thing!

[chai714]

Make small talk with her for the first few times. Then, tell her that you like talking with her. Look for a reaction. If she gives you positive feedback, ask for her number. It's unlikely that if she has a bf, she'd give up her number.

[PhoenixInATL]

Every woman is different. But for me...(and I don't *think* I'm all that much outside of the bell curve...)

 

There's two kinds of small talk. One is where it's obvious they went out of their way to do it, and so clearly they're interested. In that case I'd prefer that they just not drag it out beyond two or three times and wish they'd just ask me out for goodness sakes! (To put it politely for the forum...lol!) After a point it looks pathetic.

 

On the other hand, there's incidental small talk. You both end up on the elevator, or happen to be walking out the door at the same time. Or even happen to sit next to each other in class, so it's natural to comment on something. That can go a little longer.

 

If a guy obviously is interested and beats around the bush with obvious go-out-of-his-way small talk, unless I'm completely enamoured by him, I tend to let it go after the first few times. I hate to say that but it's true. After a while, it turns me off. If you can do the "obvious" small talk and then "go in for the kill" in relatively short order, that's fine.

 

For guys that are shy about the sudden approach, I can understand that. And there is something to be said for people growing on each other. Incidental small talk is good for that, when you bump into each other (accidently or otherwise...LOL) and so on, and become familiar with each other. And then it evolves into, "Hey what are you doing later, I heard there's this party going on at such-and-such, wanna go?" And once you've established that level of "relationship" before it becomes "just friends" in one mind or the other, you can lean your behavior towards the romantic side. Hopefully a pattern will become established from there.

 

It's just my opinion, but hey, there's tons of movies that give examples of both strategies. It's really what you're most comfortable with. I do recommend though if that you're going to go out of your way to small talk a woman, then ask her out in short order. If you don't feel comfortable with that, then try the "assimilation" approach.

 

Bottom line...."obvious" small talk needs to progress quickly or it starts to look pathetic...."incedental" small talk can go on for awhile, but you need to direct the course of the situation before it becomes "just friends" ...however, walking up to a woman and saying "You know, I can see my unborn children in your eyes..." will get you nowhere...don't try that one...if you need advice on pickup lines...feel free to ask me...LOL!!!

[PhoenixInATL]

Quote from myself...

 

On the other hand, there's incidental small talk. You both end up on the elevator, or happen to be walking out the door at the same time. Or even happen to sit next to each other in class, so it's natural to comment on something. That can go a little longer.

 

Incidental small talk is good for that, when you bump into each other (accidently or otherwise...LOL)

 

Note that I am not trying to encourage stalkers...LOL!!! It's one thing to get up from your seat when class ends to try to time your steps such that you're going out the door at the same time because you "fancy" someone.

 

It's another thing to sit in your car outside her dorm or her sorority, or follow her around campus to figure out her schedule so you can be right in step. I called the police on my ex that did both of those. Trust me that won't go well for you either. You don't want to let your love spook someone.

[heloladies21]

Well me personally, when i see a chick who's just too cute and sexy i don't even care to ask. But this is coming from someone who got beat up a couple of months ago by some chick's dude while we were hooking up. She was hot as hell but that did not feel good!

 

If you've been talking to her and she hasn't broght him up she most likely doesn't. If you haven't, hit on her and she will let you know if she does.