iamonlyhuman Posted May 11, 2005 Share Posted May 11, 2005 I have posted before, ex boyfriend of 4yrs cheated on me, I broke up with him 2weeks and 2days ago, there has been some contact , but for the past week there has been none at all, although he has intiated contact within that time. As I said before I have got to a stage where I am slowly but surely forgetting him, met a nice guy, not dating him just friendly but has put my mind off things in a big way. However I feel like I am in limbo plus its as if I can see the light at the end of the tunnel but i am afraid to follow it, in other words I think i am afraid of forgetting my ex, its so strange. I feel great and if I do think of him its not a wanting feeling like earlier on in the break up, however, i dont want to forget him totally. What do you call that??? anybody had similar experiences??? Link to comment
sidhat Posted May 11, 2005 Share Posted May 11, 2005 Dear ,, Here is issue of cheating and cheating is the ultimate act of disrespect from some1.. and simply no 1 like to take cheater back in life.. And I also understand what you want to do..I dont know why girls are like that .. clearing mind asking peoples..but atlast will do what girls want to.. You are already in tunnel.. Good Luck... Link to comment
coolchick Posted May 11, 2005 Share Posted May 11, 2005 I know what you mean iamonlyhuman. Im scared of letting go of my ex because, like yourself, we were together for 4 years and then he left out of the blue and still hasmt given me a proper reason for it. We shared so much of life together and was like my best friend as i had known him since we were 11. He's completely out my life now as i thought it best that contact was doing no good for me as he was giving me mixed signals, basically to keep me wanting him so that he felt good about himself having someone moping for him. I dont know why im scared of letting go. Im scared of change and i just want the relationship back that was secure and comfortable. But that man i knew has gone now. If he was the person i was knew then he wouldnt have left without giving me a reason. He used to respect me but now is taking advantage and hurting me. Just like your ex, he cheated on you and that is the lowest someone can go. If your not happy in a relationship you let your partner know. Not disrespect them so much that they are out enjoying themselves while your sitting being devoted and faithful. You did not deserve to have that done to you and you can be sure that you are doing the right thing by moving on and not contacting him. Imagine you got married, if he's capable of cheating now then when you married it would be worse. Its a lucky escape and you can be sure you can do much better! Link to comment
iamonlyhuman Posted May 11, 2005 Author Share Posted May 11, 2005 oh thanks for that COOLCHICK, thats made me feel kinda alright, yea its abit hard whne you have had a history with them, but cheating is the lowest anyone can go for real. Yea I think I am afraid of change and I know I am changing in a positive way. its weird.... Link to comment
CASS020283 Posted May 12, 2005 Share Posted May 12, 2005 HEY there, iamnotalone, well i am recently feeling the same way. my boyfriend left me 3 weeks ago yesterday after he attended a wedding several states over. he came back and told me that he loved me and saw a future there, but then followed that with "were not 100% compatible".....that makes sense{haha}anyways, i am feeling like you are, i feel good, i feel positive about things that i know must be waiting up ahead, but there is a piece of you that feels scared about letting go completely of what you shared with that person. its like you feel like if you forget about it, then it never happened, and that is a terrifying thought when this person was such a gigantic part of your life and who you are now. i just keep telling myself that no matter what the good things did happen, and that will never leave. but the reason that he is not here now is because he didnt see my worth completely, and in your situation, a cheater, he really didnt see that completely. no one deserves to be betrayed in that way, and by doing what he did he destroyed your trust and faith in him. basically, the good things will always stay deep inside, and you couldnt possibly ever force them out of you, they are ingrained in your heart, the little pieces of him. but life goes on, and in time you'll find someone who will know your worth and never stray from you. dont be afraid of letting go, because it is the only way that you will ever be able to love someone else completely. he doesnt deserve to be the reason that someone else doesnt get all of you. i know this bec. i was on the other end of someone{recent x-boyfriend} who wouldnt let the memories of his x fade away, he tried to keep them alive at the beginning of us, and in doing that, when he had let them go, i was so insecure about being second, that i never believed i was the only one in his heart, leading up to this current break up. i know im rambling, but honey keep your head up and let the past fall behind, because thats where it is you have tomorrow and every day after, but youll never have yesterday again. be strong, in time it wont be that scary. you will heal and eventually find something that fills your heart with imeasurable joy. love comes again, and look forward to making history with someone new. good lluck!! Link to comment
iamonlyhuman Posted May 12, 2005 Author Share Posted May 12, 2005 awwwww thanks soooooooooooo much, that makes me feel alot better, really does, yes i have to keep telling myself love is around the corner, because I simply love to be loved its my oxygen supply.lol. I am healing bit by bit everyday and soon the light will be bright at the end of the tunnel, then I know I have really made it through this tough time !!! Link to comment
CASS020283 Posted May 18, 2005 Share Posted May 18, 2005 HOW R U DOIN LATELY IAMONLYHUMAN? ANY NEW IDEAS OR THOUGHTS? Link to comment
iamonlyhuman Posted May 18, 2005 Author Share Posted May 18, 2005 th same old.lol.. i DEFINITLEY dont feel the need to contact him at all. Funny thing is I am forgetting him successfully but there are the odd days where I just burst out crying becuase of facing the reality of moving on... but then most days I am fine just getting on with life as normal. 8) I have come accross so many handsome, single guys and It makes me feel that all is not lost, people tend to think there ex's are the ones and somehow they owe you for what they did and no one will ever match them or be better than them but that is so wrong . Our exs don't owe us anything they can do what they like, we have no say in what they do so for us to want them 24/7 and not get anything back is crazy, I don't wana die on this earth loving someone who did't love me... . We deserve to be happy in this world, we are free to do what we want to do and live our lives how we want to live it! How are you everything fine?? Link to comment
CASS020283 Posted June 30, 2005 Share Posted June 30, 2005 HI AGAIN I AM ONLY HUMAN...ITS BEEN AWHILE....HOPE YOU ARE GOOD AND THAT THINGS ARE MOVING ALONG...AND THAT THERE IS POSSIBLY A NEW SOMEONE, OR SOMETHING????? WISH I WOULD HAVE REALIZED YOU POSTED BACK A MONTH AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!! SO SORRY! ANYWAYS, IN THE SLIGHT CHANCE THAT YOU DO READ THIS, FILL US {OR ME} IN ON THE NEW IAMONLYHUMAN THAT IM SURE HAS LEARNED AND REALIZED A LOT. CASS Link to comment
iamonlyhuman Posted June 30, 2005 Author Share Posted June 30, 2005 CASS020283 hi long time, well if you check my other posts, we are slowly getting back together. I had adequate time to forget him and heal alittle and he also had time to regroup his thoughts and eventually told me how he felt. During my NC time I was able to look at our relationship objectively and decided to make a change for the best as I knew that I was to blame not just him even though betrayal was much much worse... My recent posts mention him intiating alot of contact, you can check them out if you want... On Saturday will be going on a date with him, I accepted his invitation after turning down his first one. He has made some positive changes which I thought he wasnt able to do and I can say I am very surprised. I have learnt during this rollercoaster ride that it is so vital to be objective about who we are and how we act fro time to time when we feel there are problems arising in a relationship. I also learn't that when we do enter a new relationship or reunite with a lost love, we shouldn't be too complacent and comfortable just becasue we know we are being loved. I have learnt that realtionships take effort. How are you?? Link to comment
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