a very delayed confidence..

[yen]

Just yesterday, I made an online album of me and my sweetie at the picture trail and sort of completing it this morning while at work. Updating my blog with our updated pics as well.

 

After a few hours, i read at this forum (the one posted by quing and everytime i read something like that like yesterday) and then suddenly realized that i want to have a cool off with my bf. maybe i was again hit by the situation i've read there. about betrayals. i thought i was over it. i thought i am now unaffected by it. But reading in that forum regarding betrayals, i feel like im hurt just a minute ago.

 

i think it was because i when i found out about his unfaithfulness, i was the one who still goes over him. i made myself look so low. and now, i feel like i wanted to regain myself back. it is jsut now a year after i found out about it that i suddenly have a little courage of cooling things off with him. i would say a little courage because i'm thinking if i would totally break him up i'd have no one else to go with. because of close minded family setting, i could hardly go out.

 

at this time, we are getting along perfectly well but i feel like cooling things off because of what happened last year. a very delayed reaction. i dunno how to tell him it was because of that because we were actually going fine that. it's just that i suddenly wanted to myself of being able to stand by myself.

[DN]

If you do that you risk losing him - are you prepared for that?

[yen]

Maybe yes. So that I could have the satisfaction of doing what I should have done before.

 

Maybe not. Cause right now, when we're talking with each other, I feel like he really loves me so I don't have the courage to brought up the "break issue." He treats me so nice and I feel like he really loves me. It was just I was always thinking, just do something wrong and I'll break up with you. This time, I have the confidence to do it.

[punchy504]

you don't need him to do something wrong, the only reason you need is you don't want to be involved at this level with this person anymore. waiting for him to do something wrong so you can be absolved of the responsibility of the breakup is cowardly and not fair to him, or yourself.