When you cut?

[ECWhite25]

Do you do it where other people will see it or do you try to hide that you are cutting?

 

Whenever I am cutting (or atleast when I am cutting because I am hurt) I decide that I want people or this person to know how much they have hurt me and I cut somewhere visible like on my hand in the area under my thumb but I always end up feeling embarrassed afterwards and spend days trying to keep it covered so I don't have to explain anything.

I just wondered if other people struggle between wanting someone to know and feeling ashamed.

[GettingOverIt]

Yeah, I think that's a big part of cutting for a lot of folks... Do it because you want someone to see the pain, but then hide it because once the emotion of that pain is over, you don't want people to see it, or to bug the crud out of you about it....

 

You are definitely not alone.....

[QTpie87]

No I never wanted anyone to know when I used to cut, It would really embarrass me, I would just do it to make myself know, sounds weird but yeah.

about this cutting though, I know it's hard to stop, but please try to. I had to find something else to do when I got mad like that. You should go find something to do and do it weither you want to or not, if you ever wanna cut just go do it instead. For me it's either my guitar, drawing, or even writing, but the writing can make you even more upset so I would be careful about that and make sure you don't let it get you down even worse, use it as a venter, not a dweller.

good luck.

Qtpie87

[pizzachick13]

i used to cut myself the same and want everyone to see it at first and even show people but then i got scared and ashamed and yeah, i hid it. it's a normal thing. i think about 80% of all cutters/self harmers do the same thing (I read that somewhere so dont quote me on it). it's just a reflex to me now. i do it so that people can see it (normally my wrists) but then i wear a lot of jewelry to cover it cos i feel bad.

 

i dont know if this helps but know that it's normal.

 

Sappho

[alicejlucas]

I always try to hide it.

 

I only cut my arms and I'll even wear long sleeves in the summer if I have to, but I never show them.

 

Some 4-5 years ago I showed them to a close friend of mine in some cry for help I can't talk aboput this to anyone else, please understand me but it freaked her out real bad and she drifted away.

 

I just don't want people to think I'm a freak. I'm a preatty sociable person, with a normal life and I don't make a big deal about that thing I do to myself with knives.

I don't want other people to make a big deal either.

[ECWhite25]

I've never purposely shown them or talked about it either. I'm what I like to consider a normal person. I'm a mother, involved in girl scouts, and I work at a church... it isn't something that would just be accepted as a bad habbit such as smoking would. I have a feeling I would lose a lot of the respect that I get right now.

 

I still though (in the middle of a cutting) get the desire for the person that hurt me to walk in and see what they have done to me and ocasionally while in the emotion of it all will cut somewhere more visible. I have never wanted anyone to know afterwards so I'm not sure why I keep doing it.

[imagi]

I always cut where people would be able to see, but then I kept it as hidden as humanly possible. I never did it when I thought someone would see me because I had a bad incident with my brother seeing me do it. I wore long sleeved shirts to school until I was ready to stop, and then I started to show the scars and healing scabs to everyone. It was my safety so that people knew to be concerned when I wouldn't wear a t-shirt again. Even now I still hide my arms from people when they are first meeting me because I've had so many people react badly to the scars.

[Finchabald]

i am also that way. i really want people to see how much i am hurting inside but then i darent show because of the questions that'l rise from it.

[Ally Rose]

I get really embarrassed about it, hardly anyone knows I do it, but I always just want to tell my boyfriend so he doesn't find out some other way and be mad that I didn't tell him. I think probably most SIers go through something like that... people are always less mad about it when you tell them but at the same time telling them makes you feel really stupid, like they'll think you're telling them to get attention or something. I always write it down in my diary so I feel like I've told someone, even if it is just a silly little book. Makes me feel less alone.

[metallicachica247]

sometimes when i cut i like the guys to see me cut. i like when they give me a caring face and turn away, but it makes me feel really good when they stop me. after i am done i am like wtf have i just done. and i dont want people to see it except the one that hurt me.

[elila]

The newspaper that I write for did a story on this a while ago, some people want others to notice, because they feel that they need to let those that hurt them know. They want them to know that they can control their own pain, when really they're losing control over themselves. I'd advise those who haven't already to tell your parents and get medical help. It's a serious problem that needs to be fixed, don't push it off as something that's unimportant or that you're too embarrassed about. Your family won't judge you for something you can't help, they just want to see you get better.

[whathappensnext]

well i didn't read all the posts but i don't. i hide it i cut so i don't hurt people no so they can see it and feel worse. i don't like to make people feel bad. and if someone sees it and asks why i'm not going to be cuz you i wanted you to see how you make me feel. i would NEVER do that.

[perfectliljewel]

with me it is almost never visable which is a problem b/c i cut on my forearm so i have to wear a sweater AND I LIVE IN TEXAS!

[justme1607307251]

i always hide it.I just feel really embarrased. and i could never show my scars mmm i have showed just to 1 really close friend and he is really supportive with me but im sure i would never let some1 i dunno see my scars.

[cujo]

i do that too. it's like i am telling the person you may be able to hurt me but i can also hurt myself. it seems a lot easier to hurt yourself than talk to the person that hurt you. try to get away from them. good luck, and be safe