Too much arguing - Feeling unappreciated

[Alias]

 

 

Hi everyone. Well this is my first topic as I have just found this forum. I have a lot to ask, but the site says I may only have one topic up at a time. thereforeeee, I am just going to start with a couple of my problems in this thread. Then I'll maybe add the other problems I'm having later on. Oh and as a brief background, I am a senior in high school, going to college in the fall, and my girlfriend is a junior at my high school.

 

1) My girlfriend and I have just been arguing more lately, and I find my self getting more mad every time. I usually tend to end the argument by just saying, "OK fine" and insisting I understand her way of seeing or doing things. She told me she hates when I do that and that I should just continue arguing with her. I am confused because if I continue arguing with her, I don't want her to get so frustrated with me that she'd give up and leave.

 

2) Sometimes I just feel unappreciated by my girlfriend. I can do so many nice things for her, often going out of my way, with her barely showing any sign of appreciation. However, if I slip up in the slightest of ways, she'll blow up on me. Another thing she does, is act like she very angry. It makes me sad, and then she tells me that she was just acting. I can't tell when she's acting or not, so I often feel so unappreciated.

[meyerjek]

it sounds like this girl needs to grow up a little bit and stop playing games with you. About the arguments, a lot of people take your approach, but it really is best if you dont give in, you'll feel better if you dont give in, and if she really cares about you, she should want you to feel better about whatever you are arguing about. About her not appreciating things, it sounds like she has just grown used to you doing special things for her, so im guessing you two have been together for a while ( just a guess though), thats rough. If you stop doing things, she will of course notice, but if she doesnt notice it when you do things now, why bother doing them. Do what you feel like.

[Alias]

Eh, I don't think she's playing games with me. I do agree that she's probably just used to me doing special things for her all the time. I want to do them, but I should probably stop expecting to get much of a reaction out of them.

 

Also, as more of a background to our relationship, we started going out last year until she broke up with me 8 months after. Then this past January, we got back together. I think our relationship is pretty serious; our real test will be when I go off to college and then when she does the following year.

 

And in reference to your comment about me finishing my arguments, she did express to me that she wants me to pretty much for the same reason that you stated.

[rao]

Sailing the same boat you are. Wish I knew what to do too!