mcfcrule_18 Posted June 13, 2003 Share Posted June 13, 2003 please can anyone help. i have been seeing this girl for nearly a year now and i have tried so many times to break up with her. Its impossible, she says she will kill herself and says that i was just using her. Pl ease can anyone help nad give me some advice, Thank u. Daniel Link to comment
doblersdream Posted June 13, 2003 Share Posted June 13, 2003 If you think there's no chance of her doing anything stupid, then it's best to end it immediately. If you're not so sure, try running the relationship down gradually, or get some mutual friends involved to help with her emotional state. Link to comment
mcfcrule_18 Posted June 13, 2003 Author Share Posted June 13, 2003 Thank you doblersdream. I have tried getting friends involved with us but she is so persistent on just me and her going out, i dont have friends anymore, she wont let me go out with them, she doesnt live near me so we talk on the fone alot and she think i shud talk to her all the time. She stops me from doing stuff with my family and everything, im only 16 and i neeed to get out of this situation. It really eating away at me Link to comment
doblersdream Posted June 13, 2003 Share Posted June 13, 2003 How do you think she'd react to a break up, in terms of doing anything to harm herself? Link to comment
mcfcrule_18 Posted June 13, 2003 Author Share Posted June 13, 2003 i think she wud do something bad to herself because she says i have reuined her life, shes only 16. I havnt done anything wrong, at the beginning of th relationship i was really nice but as io got to know her more she took advantage of my and rules my whole life Link to comment
doblersdream Posted June 13, 2003 Share Posted June 13, 2003 Ok. In that case, I doubt that anyone on this site will be able to offer you any advice about how to finish the relationship. You need to minimalise the risk of her doing something stupid, and so i would strongly recommend talking about this to someone who is a postive/authorative/role model figure in this girl's life. Maybe her mother/older sister for example. Someone else definitely needs to be aware of the risk of self-harm. Link to comment
mcfcrule_18 Posted June 13, 2003 Author Share Posted June 13, 2003 thank you very much doblersdream. Talking to her mum would be really difficult thought wudnt it? i would be scared of what her mum would do to me or the trouble she would cause with my family, she is an only child so i could only really tell her mum. What do you think i should tell her mum? thank you very much Link to comment
doblersdream Posted June 13, 2003 Share Posted June 13, 2003 There are two important facts you need to have clear in your mind at all times; 1. If you don't want to be with her, then you shouldn't. That's your right. 2. You need to do what you can to stop her hurting herself. I realise that telling her mum would be tough. Only you know how she may react. You need to be careful that you don't cause a rift between mother and daughter that causes your g/f to be more unstable. Your g/f obviously has issues that need to be dealt with, and you may not be the best person to help her deal with them, although you have an opportunity to help her realise that she has problems. Talking to her calmly about the situation, and what you want might open up new avenues for you both. If that fails, try to think of someone else that she trusts who might be able to give more specific advice. After all, only someone who knows her will be able to be truly helpful. Link to comment
kddmsu Posted June 13, 2003 Share Posted June 13, 2003 mcfcrule_18 you say that you and your girlfriend are 16? I am assuming this is probably the first somewhat serious relationship that either of you have been in. It's very hard to get over your first love, especially for girls more often than not. The dilemma you have is, to break up or not break up in fear that she will hurt herself. Well you need to think of it this way, the longer you are with her the more she will fall for you. Thus, the longer you stay with her the harder you are making it for her and you. It;s not fair for either of you to stay in this relationship. Now I know you are afraid that she will hurt herself, but more often that not with a first love you feel like you want to die when it ends.... but it's all a learning experience. If you are afraid she will try to commit suicide then you have to talk to her mom, and by doing that her mother should not hate you. I am sure her mother will see that you care enough about her daughter to come to her with help, and you want to make sure you g/f will be alright. You definitley can not stay with her if you don't love her, because in the end you will only end up hurting her more. Her mom will understand that you want nothing but the best for her daughter and will probably be thankful to you. I hope this helps Link to comment
mcfcrule_18 Posted June 13, 2003 Author Share Posted June 13, 2003 thank you very much kddmsu. Anyone got any pointers on what i could say to her mum and what would be the best way about doing it? Thank you Link to comment
kddmsu Posted June 13, 2003 Share Posted June 13, 2003 Just tell her mom that the last thing you would ever want to do is hurt your g/f, but unfortunatley the relationship was no longer stable. Tell her that you and her daughter have had many problems with the relationship and that neither of you are happy with it anymore. Tell her that the two of you had broken up in the past and that you are afraid that your g/f might do something irrational. Make sure that you are acting concerned with the situation, and let her know the do not want anything bad to happen. I mean it's hard for me to tell you what to say because I don't know anyone in the situation. In all just let her know that you care and the last thing you would ever want was for something bad to happen and that is why you are telling her about your concerns. Link to comment
mcfcrule_18 Posted June 13, 2003 Author Share Posted June 13, 2003 thank u very much kddmsu. I find it so hard to get rid of her, i finish her but she begs me n threatens me to get back with her. I cant cope like this much longer, i really need to get rid of her, HELP ME PLEASE Link to comment
kddmsu Posted June 13, 2003 Share Posted June 13, 2003 you are obviously not happy, so you definitley need to at least take a break from her. If she is not willing to try that, then she is just being selfish. Things obviously aren't working out, you seem miserable, so do what will make "YOU" happy. You are not living her life, you are living your own, so you do what makes you happy. She is NOT making you happy, so take a break, at the least!!! You are so young, I can almost positively tell you that she is not the one for you, but if she is you need time away from her to realize that. I hope that helps, but you have to do the deciding. Good Luck!!!!! Link to comment
mcfcrule_18 Posted June 13, 2003 Author Share Posted June 13, 2003 thank youvery much kddmsu. This is really helping, its just putting theory into practise. Its gonna b hard, i may aswell just runaway n get away from it all, thats th eonly thing i feel i can do. The worst thing i eva did was was get involved with her, shes evil and she is killing me mentally. Thank u very much, i really appreciate it. Link to comment
.jpg.1626fbc48c04fd9021fd315819807524.thumb.jpg.882936eb5901fa05cf31c75617acde2e.jpg)
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now