Help...Why Does My Ex Keep Lying to Me?

[Sweet Euphoria]

My ex-girlfriend broke up with me and told me how she still wanted to be friends and all, but she rarely allows me to talk to her. She tells me she will hang out and then once we are going to hang out, she cancels. She has done this like 5 times already. Should I just forget her totally? It is hard because we were together for almost 2 years and were very much in love. She keeps telling me later in the summer we will hang out, but this seems very doubtful. I want to say something to her, but I don't know what. What can I say that is mature, yet leaves her thinking about her own way of dealing of things? I have noticed that whenever she has broken up with a guy, she is quick to have another one. In my case, she has a boyfriend only 2 days after our breakup. What can I say to her? She is angering me so much! What should I do?

[smiles314]

Hey...

 

Was there a specific reason you guys broke up? How long have you guys been broken up for?

 

Well maybe ur ex gf has the good intentions of wanting to keep some kind of relationship with you, but usually and especially right after a break up its just very tough and hard to keep some kind of friendship going. Sometimes each partner needs a little space of his or her own before trying a friendship- And generally I have heard that it is usually a failure. Im not saying that you shouldnt be friends with your ex. But it sounds like she is just all talk and little action. You probably may want to be friends with ur ex in hopes of getting back together. But maybe she is just focusing much on herself, and her own pleasure and doing whats good for her right now. And i bet her canceling on you is hurting you and frustrating you a lot more =also sending mix signals.

 

I think that you should focus on making yourself happy and creating the most pleasant situation for u and u only. That means not making yourself vulnerable to her. If you dont want to completely lose your ex gf from your life..u dont have to. BUt telling her that you cant keep freeing up ur days for her, and her never following through. That you have your own life to lead..And when she is good and ready to actually see you and i mean good and ready- she should contact you. You've tried but if she wont follow with the plans theres nothing you can do.

 

And maybe shes just scared or reluctant to see you because she doesn't know what to expect. And maybe she doesn't want to hurt you and thats why she keeps saying that u'll see each other..

 

But you know that everyone is a mystery and has their own plans in mind. So its just a hutch- But you have to do what is right for you.

[SwingFox]

Hi Sweet Euphoria,

 

I am sorry to read that you're ex girlfriends seems to play games with you. It looks like that you're still very focused towards her. I read from you how you she does things to you.

 

My suggestion towards you is: what are you going to do about it? As I look at things, you can do two things:

 

1) You could put up with it

2) You could leave things as it is and forget about her

 

It looks like that she has no intentions of working with you in a friendship. Personally I give people two or three chances to work with me. If it doesn't work for me, then I just leave them. The trick is to surround yourself with people that respect you and accept you for who you are. Personally I find cancelling five times very disrespectful. On top of that she even doesn't allow you to only talk to her. That doesn't seem fair to you.

 

I hope that this will help you a little. Set your own standards and see what YOU find acceptable and what YOU feel comfortable with. The only obligation YOU have in life, is the obligation for YOU to be happy. If YOU are not happy, YOU cannot make someone else happy!

 

I wish you good luck and a bright future

 

~ SwingFox ~