I know I shouldn't but I miss him

[AAvr1315]

Two days now and I'm feeling so down.

 

I miss him. Every thought I have is about him. I have such a mixture of thoughts.

 

I miss how he would hold me when we would wake up next to each other. I miss waking up next to him in general. How at night I would get to lay down with him and feel his body next to mine. I miss his kisses, his laugh, his dumb jokes, the was he would hug we while I did the dishes. Just the little things that I liked him doing, that made me feel it was just for us. Maybe it'll be to much info but....the sex is what I really miss. I've only been with him, he was my first at 18 and now im 28. And now i feel like when i had him i took him for granted.

Because now that i dont have him i feel like I want him the most in everyway. to talk to him, to see him come home from work, to have him around the house, to just know he is here with me.

 

Maybe it's just my mind going crazy. It is "normal" to feel like to need or want your ex the most after the break up?

 

Not that it's doing me any good to have those thoughts lingering in my head. Because then it's like, ok he cheated, he over lapped his current relationship and is living with this girl not even 4 month after we broke up. Do I really miss him? Was I just used to the idea that I would always have him around?

 

Our relationship did also start as an overlap and I moved in with him after 4 months in. And to be honest, the way I got him was always in the back of my mind to how I would loose him.

 

The first couple of years, yes I was immature and not the best but I would try because he would try and he would put effort into being with me and keeping me happy. But I would be dramatic and just pick fights with him about how I would think he would be cheating. He would reassure me that he wouldn't do that to me. And it would somewhat calm me to hear him say it.

 

Then the last two years is when he wouldn't say he loved me when I would tell him I loved him. I would constantly ask him if he did. He would get mad or irritated and tell me he did, that I knew he did, and he wouldn't be here if he didn't.

Not the nicest response or what I wanted to hear. It got to the point where the last times I would ask he would say I don't know what I feel for you, or how he didn't know if he saw "us" in the future.

 

Anyways,

Is this the "normal" to feel you need then back in your life even after things werent good ?

[WildChildOG]

Yes, in most instances it is normal. Sometimes the idea of rejection (that we convince ourselves, we've been rejected because the ex has moved on, doing things they didn't do with us, etc.) makes us miss them more, because we think "What about us? Why wasn't it that way for us." When really, you are way better off not dating them anymore or giving yourself away to someone who isn't deserving of you. And really, you have no way of knowing how "Happily Ever After" they are with the new relationship, or that bad patterns have changed. Keep reminding yourself you're no longer the ring leader of that circus haha

[AAvr1315]

It just a constant cross in my mind

if he does with her what he would do with me?

if he's really trying to impress her, and is the best like he was with me in the start of our relationship?

will they last?I hope they don't and comes back to me.

Is he really better off with her?

Why not with me?

Do I even cross his mind?

It must not be serious since he does have same patterns and still cheats

[WildChildOG]

Ask yourself though why would you want him back? Is it because he's not yours anymore to have? W'e trick ourselves into believing or thinking things, but really it's we are licking our wounds and making things seem better than they actually were.

[SweetGirl28]

What do you mean by two days?? Please do not tell us you met up for sex with him again!!

 

You have to value yourself more than this! If one or both of you could not have sex, would you meet up, just to talk, have coffee, whatever? Probably not. So there's nothing here to hold onto.

Of course you miss him . But you must focus on you and your children. Look out for yourselves. He's living with someone.

[AAvr1315]

I have not met up with him for sex. It's just thoughts I've been having the what "IF's" and it sucks I try not to buy they are still present in my mind.

[SweetGirl28]

It's gonna continue to suck because you can't put him out of your life because you have kids.

You deserve better. Take this time to miss him and then find your prince. There is a man who will value and respect you.

[AAvr1315]

Why do we want what we can't have???

I always wanted him.

when I had him I gave him up(in highschool) and then when I got him back i feel like I lost him again.

Would the there be a third time?

[SweetGirl28]

Why do we want what we can't have???

I always wanted him.

when I had him I gave him up(in highschool) and then when I got him back i feel like I lost him again.

Would the there be a third time?

 

Because we lost it and feel rejected!!

Honey, he wasn't that great. You have a bond because of the life you created together. Be thankful for your children, you always have a part of him thru them. But you have to take him off the pedestal and see him for who he is, which is a man who left his family to go to another woman because he was feeling selfish and thought leaving was easier than holding the family together. You loved him for a long time. You still do. You can't switch that off like a light.

Only time will help and distance. You can't really do that because you share kids, so it's prolonged.

You want to feel wanted, needed, sexy, important. You will! Just not with him. Not at this moment. Stay out of his friend zone and he might come home. But don't put life on hold. Maybe three times will be a charm. Maybe it won't. No one knows. If he changes his mind he will be back. Just be careful of what you allow because even though you love him, I think the trust has been destroyed beyond repair.