Should I even bother anymore?

[Stuckinacircle]

Me and my boyfriend have been together since we were 16. Its been almost 7 years. We have had alot of issues throughout the entire relationship. Im sure I'm a large part of the problem in our relationship, but at this point i dont know. I feel like I have pretty good communication skills. I tell him when I have a problem with something but instead of trying to talk it out he immediately goes on defense and starts talking about things I have done wrong in the past. Alot of fights we have boil down to him not caring if we spend time together and just basic respect. We dont live together and we both work full time. We get two days a week to see eachother and usually we work on both those days inbetween. We rarely have sex. Maybe once or twice a month and tmi, but I need it way more than that. We dont have kids. And instead of soending those 2 days with me he plays video games with the headset on. Which I dont mind, i truly dont. But I would appreciate if he took one hour of the time he uses to play video games to have sex, or make me feel important in any way. So I asked him for the last hour and a half before I left for the week if he could spend that time with me. He instead handed me the headset with his friends telling me I had plenty of time before going to work and he could play longer. When I got upset about that he tried to tell me it was a joke, which clearly it wasnt. Its such an immature and stupid arguement. But he has convinced me im in the wrong so many times, that I now feel like Im being a for asking him to spend a little time with me after not ing me for 3 weeks. I know he is not cheating, 100%. I just cant seem to figure out why this is even an arguement. He should also want to spend time with me, I feel as though I shouldnt even have to beg for that. And oftwn this is what happens. We argue, and then somehow its my fault. I have to argue with him and beg him to spend time with me. And then when he finally decides to bless me with his presence and i express my feelings about this he tells me I have no reason to be upset because he did what I asked after I begged. Am I in the wrong for just expecting him to know I want him to spend time with me? That its not enough to just sit here nexr to him while he gets on the mic and ignores me? And then he starts screaming about how he will never play video ganes again. Thats not what I want. I just want to be put first and to have my sexual needs taken care of. We have been together for so long ai have forgotten what a normal relationship is like.

[DanZee]

Yeah, you're being emotionally abused. It's a textbook example, and if you enter that term in Google you will see all of the symptoms you've described. On top of it all is that the emotional abuse makes you feel like you're to blame, and you're not. The abuse tears down your self esteem. No normal woman would think they're to blame for this outrageous behavior from your boyfriend. It comes from someone constantly tearing you down, calling you stupid or worthless. Look, at your age, I'm sure Dr. Ruth would be telling you that you should be having sex every day if there's time. No video game should be preferable to sex.

 

You should not have to put up with this any longer. Break up with this jerk now and look for a nice guy who would be worshiping you like the goddess of love you are. You should not have to beg for sex. He doesn't care for you. He's treating you bad. It's not worth even trying to save the relationship. The only reason you haven't dumped him is that you have an emotional dependency on him. You may be afraid of him leaving or being abandoned. I can tell you, being alone to heal would be much better for you than putting up with this meat head. Find a man to love and who will love you back.

[Stuckinacircle]

Well dang. I never looked at it from that angle. I constantly tell him he gas lighting me. Because he does. He will do something and then tell me that he never said it. To the point where I start to wonder if I'm insane or not. Thank you so much, its not often I hear kind words anymore. I just feel so stuck and helpless. I dont feel worthless, not exactly. But I do feel like he will never truly understand how I feel. I'm just constantly told how wrong I am, and how im a who complains anout everything.