the big quesiton

[Mr Mister1]

okay sorry if this has been asked several times before but it's something that, well it bugging me once again

 

I'll start with the question then tell you what the situation is.

 

There is a girl who I've been madly in love with but I haven't seen her in ages and have been trying to move on with my life. But recently I've seen.. other people using her MSN account, but also noticed the profile was updated with a different photo of her, and the moment I saw that.. I felt like I was meant to be by her side, I felt like I was somehow drawn to her and that no one else would do. It seems compleatly illogical but that's how I felt and I wonder.. what does this all mean. It usually leads to the three word explanation "you love her" and some have even commented that it looks like my heart will always be with her. But what does that mean? Does it mean we're meant to be together no matter what? Has fate picked us as soulmates? Or is this al a load of hot air that I should just turn my back on?

 

Either way my plan is the same, I'm going to keep going on with life the way I am unless/until something more concrete occures. I figure if we are meant to be together it will happen no matter what and if we're not then I shouldn't waste my time worrying about it. But I'm really curious and puzzled.

 

Okay my story, there's a lot that's happened, she moved here to be with me, got involved with a bad crowd, then came back to me and we've slept together a few times, then she started suffering was a horrible life threatening eating disorder. She went back home to get treatment but could only get so much given her budget. She disowned her parents and ended up living with some 38 year old she met in a park, while she was getting sicker and sicker. The last time I spoke with her it got very nasty and her last words were "one day you'll wake up wondering where I am and I'll be rotting in the ground!"

 

Recently the guy she was staying with started using her MSN account and messaged me, but when I asked how she was he refused to tell me anything, but he did keep talking about the pain she was going through, and to me it sounded like he was implying that she died but he never said anything one way or the other.

 

Today a girl who works for the guy was using her account I asked her too, she was a lot more friendly but said she didnt really know her so couldnt help, all she knew was she sometimes worked there but was "ultra thin."

 

I called her family a few weeks ago who thought she moved back here to study, her sister said "she's fine I talked to her the other night"

 

So nothing really adds up, I wonder if she's just messing me around or if something serious has happened. And yeah I decided to get on with my life and move on but then the moment I saw her updated profile with a photo of her.. I suddenly felt drawn to her, like I'm meant to be there with her.

[charlotte_skye]

That was her on the msn not the guy that she lives with........

 

shes not well , eating disorders are a mental illness, she isnt stable at the minute, it was her on the msn messing with your head because shes crraving attention and whats u to be worried.

[Mr Mister1]

thanks charlotte, that possibility did occur to me and I think you're right, it would answer.. well everything that doesn't make sense

 

 

the question is what should I do about it? Should I just move on or should I try help, and if I should do the latter... well what can I do to help her? If she's going to pretend to be someone else when talking to me...

[providentielle]

It is natural for you to care about this girl, once someone gets into our hearts i dont think they ever completely leave. Having gone a period of time without contact then having her appear in your life again in some form must be very confusing, it can be hard to tell what you really feel now from remnants of feelings you had before, seeing the picture of her shows you that things have changed and highlight the fact that your lives are no longer entwined, the realisation of that can be hard to get your head round. As Charlotte said this girl will be going through a lot now and for her sake I think you should maintain a degree of distance, battling with an eating disorder must be difficult enough without trying to deal with your feelings and her own as well. It is hard because when you care about someone you want to help them but maybe the best thing is for you to give her space. It seems that she could contact you if she needed your help but for now she needs to put herself first and try to cope with her illness. Good luck

[Mr Mister1]

well she keeps messaging me.. albeit pretending to be someone else when she does.. but it seems like she wants me around

 

im not going to try pursue anything with her just now, but i do want to help her... i dont know what would help her but.. I want to get her through this.

 

I plan on keeping some distance, but I also want her to know that help is here if she wants it, I wont force it onto her, it will be compleatly up to her about whether she takes it or not, but it's important that she knows I'm there.

 

I guess the thing I was really wondering was, when you have a feeling this strong....does that mean she's the one, because if I'm to be honest I know I still really love her and probably always will no matter what.

[providentielle]

If you want to let her know you are there if/when she needs you why not email her? It gives you the chance to say everything you want without interruption and she can read it over in her own time. I dont believe that there is only one person out there who is perfect for you but if you love her then I guess time will tell if that is enough to overcome the problems she is having. I do know that we tend to feel very strongly about people and that our feelings are all consuming, you know how you feel and whether or not this is a relationship with a future, but you should give it a chance if that is what you want, otherwise you will always wonder. I hope it all works out for you. Good luck