Sammylou12 Posted February 5, 2018 Share Posted February 5, 2018 So I’m just here to vent out my emotions more than anything. I have been seeing this guy for about 20 months. We made it official about 15 months ago it’s been a rocky road. There have been a couple of times that I have ended things as I wasn’t sure about the relationship and as he is quite a closed book I have found it difficult. Life circumstances changed and I was looking to move. We decided to move in together. I was so happy and excited and felt like out relationship was moving forward. We have been living together for a couple of months and apart from a few teething issues everything has seemed to be going great. That is until her got a new phone. He left his old lying around and I let my inquisitive side get the better of me. And of course I didn’t like what I found. There were a few messages from a few different women. The most recent only being last month... whilst we were living together. I have told him that I know and as far as I am aware he has been open and honest about it all. I just don’t know if I believe what he is saying to me. I’m finding it very difficult. I really feel that we have got something good but now I find myself questioning everything again. I don’t know wether It is a worth carrying on or just giving up with the relationship. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted February 5, 2018 Share Posted February 5, 2018 Sorry to hear this. Sadly it sounds fraught with difficulties and trust issues. Perhaps moving in together was too much too soon? it’s been a rocky road. There have been a couple of times that I have ended things he is quite a closed book I have found it difficult. I just don’t know if I believe what he is saying Link to comment
Sammylou12 Posted February 5, 2018 Author Share Posted February 5, 2018 I know it might have been too soon but it did feel right at time. The main woman he was messaging he met in a dating app. I’m not sure how long ago but there are signs that he has been on these apps since we have been together. The messages were sexual he wanted pictures etc but they also felt like he cared about the person asking them what was wrong if they wanted to talk on the phone etc. She is a lot older and not someone he would really have a future with. I just feel very betrayed as the messages were sent throughout our relationship. He says that he knows it’s wrong and won’t do it again. He says that he knows for sure now that he wants to be with me. He was worried before that I would just end it again and he would have nothing again. He said he was lonely and just wanted to feel wanted. I feel that I don’t do enough for him and find myself wondering if there is any point in carrying on the relationship Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted February 5, 2018 Share Posted February 5, 2018 Sorry to hear this. Your instincts to end this are correct. At least you know now he was never happy with you and that he blames you for his cheating. Notice he turned to that rather than work on the relationship and he will again if you stay. It's not your fault he chooses to cheat. Move out asap He was worried before that I would just end it again and he would have nothing again. He said he was lonely and just wanted to feel wanted. Link to comment
Sammylou12 Posted February 5, 2018 Author Share Posted February 5, 2018 But he said he is happy with me... he has never felt this way about another person. He struggles to open up but is getting better. Has hasn’t phisically cheated. He doesn’t blame he at all. He shows remorse and has said he will do anything to make it better. Am I being stupid for staying with him? Link to comment
DaisyMayPorter Posted February 5, 2018 Share Posted February 5, 2018 How is he a closed book? Also I know you say he didn’t physically cheat, but with this woman he met on the dating app, he was emotionally cheating: 1) he went on the app to begin with, 2) he was asking for pictures and talking to her frequently. It sounds like he was looking for something else. Why didn’t he end up meeting her or do you know for sure he didn’t? I hate to say this but if it’s not her, it will probably be someone else. Link to comment
Sammylou12 Posted February 5, 2018 Author Share Posted February 5, 2018 How is he a closed book? Also I know you say he didn’t physically cheat, but with this woman he met on the dating app, he was emotionally cheating: 1) he went on the app to begin with, 2) he was asking for pictures and talking to her frequently. It sounds like he was looking for something else. Why didn’t he end up meeting her or do you know for sure he didn’t? I hate to say this but if it’s not her, it will probably be someone else. It’s taken a while for him to open up fully to me. He doesn’t often show his emotions until more recently. He was probably talking to her for around 1 day every couple of months. He said he was never going to meet her he didn’t have any interest in actually meeting people. She was a good 20 years older and not a woman he would have had a future with. That was the most recent woman. There were others. How can you be certain it will be someone else? He may actually realise he was wrong and want to grow up. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted February 5, 2018 Share Posted February 5, 2018 Why did you end it several times? It's been rocky according to you. What were the conflicts about. What you see is what you get. hoping for change will just continue on the same trajectory. He cheats, you find out, he apologizes, makes you feel sorry for him, gets your guard down and then the cycle repeats. That was the most recent woman. There were others. How can you be certain it will be someone else? Link to comment
DaisyMayPorter Posted February 5, 2018 Share Posted February 5, 2018 That was the most recent woman. There were others. How can you be certain it will be someone else? He may actually realise he was wrong and want to grow up. I can’t be certain, I’m just guessing. Like you said, “there were others.” Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.