Have you ever..?

[Smiles2017]

Have you ever loved someone so much, that you KNOW, it's bad for you...but you still know its headed right down the miserable path you chose to leave in the first place?

 

Have you ever loved someone so much you've given up your own happiness to watch the man you love fall in love with a toxic and nasty drug?

 

Have you ever watched the man you love lie and manipulate everyone he knows just so he can get his next fix and maybe become 'norma' again?

 

Have you ever tried to him, cried to everyone who sells to him, cried yourself to sleep and felt like a failure because you no longer have sex with him on demand?

 

Have you ever been able to party here and there but never lost who you are in the process, but watched your counter part, your heart and soul, dissipate into a pile of maggots that enjoy watching you struggle while you attempt to pick up the shattered pieces of your best friend?

 

Because, I have. This started at an early age for me, with my father (different drug, my dad's was alcohol, my soulmate likes meth) so you would THINK I'd run for the hills once I saw these traits in the second man I've ever loved. The unfortunate part is, I tried to save my boyfriend, like I tried to save my dad. It's impossible.

 

Do you know what it's like to get on your knees, and cry and beg man, who quite literally has made you feel as all as a grain of salt because he'd rather spend hours in the bathroom jerking off, then snuggle and watch your favorite show together?

 

Have you ever been literally so disgusted by the way his mind thinks that you feel like you're quite possibly sleeping next to a serial rapist/killer?

 

Have you ever wondered how a bath tub drug can alter ones mind to the point of you not feeling like you ever even knew them.... After 7 years?

 

Have you tried to say enough is enough and move forward, and ignore the begs and pleas to come back, followed by empty promises you know for certain are a blatant effing like?

 

Have you ever been so degraded, belittled and felt so unworthy to a man who at this point in his life doesn't even shower daily? Picks his face so much he's practically unrecognizable? Because I have.

 

Have you ever fallen for a man, who after all you've been through, makes you genuinely laugh, smile and feel worthy again? Someone who makes you feel like the biggest dork in the world because you are so enthralled with the way he makes you feel human again,?

 

Wait for it...

 

Have you ever spent every waking hour plus pushing that incredibly kind and heart felt man away... Because 'dude' number one has reduced your self worth to nothing?

 

Have you ever realized your insecurities were going to cost you possibly the most perfect man in the world for you, and it's all 'dudes' fault?

 

Have you ever second guessed the amazing and strong creature you are, because you couldn't give up the monster consuming the wonderful you?

 

I have. Talk to me.

[musicman777]

Yes, this happens to a lot of people. They enter relationships with people that aren't right and/or are toxic for them. But eventually, you get stuck in a rut with that person. They're too intertwined in your life; maybe you live with them and can't move out immediately. If you're with someone that's not right, you gotta do what you have to to get out of that scenario or it's never going to change.

 

Have you ever been literally so disgusted by the way his mind thinks that you feel like you're quite possibly sleeping next to a serial rapist/killer?

 

This one's really concerning. I know there are some toxic relationships out there, but if you think someone is a serial killer, well, that's troubling. Do you have any friends or family you can go to? I think you need to get away from this person ASAP if you feel this way.