God, I need help

[shiggins]

I am new to this forum , but I need help. I'm 24 and have been a self harmer since I was 12. A lot of crap happened in my past which has lead me here today. I have been a regular s/h for 12 years. Istill want to do it, but I want someone to tell me how to conceal it. I have so many scars, its imposible to conceal, and I have too, for the sake of my job. I've tried the gel sheets and gel but it hasn't helped, I'm left thinking that people know what I've done (coz its suppossed to be secret) and it makes me feel evn worse. I feel that I can never let anyone know what I've done because Im so ashamed. I understand that I have no friends I can truist, just my family, and what I do hurts them so much. So, please can you help me, I need to deal with this but I cant huirt my family further.

Thanx

[Sn0man]

You're right. You need help.

 

Have you considered seeing a counsellor or therapist? I'm sure you know that self-harm is bourne from low self esteem/self image, depression and anxiety disorders and from deep rooted problems that need to be dealt with. Do you want to continue doing this forever? I would seriously seek help from a profesional.

 

As for hiding it, the only thing you can do is wear long sleeve shirts and pants, because scars don't go away.

[shiggins]

Oh my god, how many councillors, thereeists! It doesn't work! All they do is drug you into thinking everythings ok! To be honest I think I'm ok now/ I hope

[MetallicAguy]

Someone integrated the thought into your mind when you were a kid that your an unwanted child. Your parents ever have problems? Any one of them ever constantly abusive?

[shiggins]

Yeah, you are so right. I honestly don't remember my childhood. I haven't a single memory until I was 12 I and I started suffering. However my mother was an alcoholic (when I was tiny) and in later years. But a lot else happened: My sister had to have brain surgery that my mother blamed on me, and that is where the problems started for me. I can't ever deal with that fact, but hey life must go on. Sis is fine now, but I'm left with the aftermath. My dad and my sis are forever with me and I love them for it but they cannot understand what I do with the self harming. I try to expain but I can't!

[misery12]

Things do sound quite complicated in the past, but you can move on..Believe me when I say, people have made it through much harder times. If you do not cut yourself anymore, right there it shows great improvement.. and if you still do.. then try various methods of stopping, such as elastic bands around the wrist, snapping it whenever you want to harm yourself. Or change your daily habits, which bring these depressing feelings to you.

In the long run, things should get better, you're only 24, not even 1/3 through your life.. if you're not happy with yourself right now.. just start over.. new job, new house.. so on. Leave the past memories behind, because they seem to bring nothing but pain. Soon enough, you should begin to feel better.

Hope this helps.

[cujo]

ur title is where to start. "God, i need help". ask god for help, he has been known to do some amazing things. pray, and it doesn't have to be like on ur knees prayer i walk and talk t0o him and yell to him about my problems . he understands, and he listens. most counselors want to tell u your peoblems when u need to figure that for yourself.

good luck

 

 

Live as though Christ died yesterday, rose from the grave today, and is coming back tomorrow.

 

 

-Theodore Epp

[Lost1n7heDark]

I've been a cutter since last year, which makes me 14 now. I definitely understand where you're coming from, the past makes us who we are now. I think it depends on where your scars are. They're usually on the wrist, hips, or upper arms, so I'm suggest jewelry for the wrists, overshirts for the upper arms, and hips are hidden anyways, so yeah.

Hmph. I don't understand why people would fire you for SI. It's none of their business, so they shouldn't judge you for that. Whatever. If you'd cut anywhere else, I can only suggest jewelry or clothing, scar concealers don't work as well as people hope. Surgically removing them could work, but even showing them to a doctor is a shaming thing, I would think. You think you don't have any friends to trust? You've got all of us here. Well, if not anyone else, you still got me. We're all going through this, and we're all going through it together. Good luck!