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I know we're not going to be an item--should I still tell her I have feelings for her?


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There's this girl in my life that, for the last couple years, has sent me tons of mixed signals. I've spoken about her in a previous thread (I can't post the URL apparently, but it's the last thread I wrote, entitled, "This girl has confused the living hell out of me and I don't know what to do") and in the time since I wrote that thread, she has sent me even more mixed signals (both very sweet signals of interest as well as ego-deflating signals of no interest). While I never flat-out told her that I have feelings for her, it became emotionally exhausting to try and interpret these mixed signals. So, I never told her how I feel about her (although I'm sure it's quite possible that she has connected the dots).


I tried my best to get over her by not seeing her anymore, which is how I typically deal with rejection. I'm never rude, and I never say disrespectful things--it's perfectly OK for somebody not to be attracted to me, after all! Having said that, if I think she's going to be at a certain place at a certain time, I try to not be at that certain place at that certain time. The idea is not that I'd never see her again, just that I wouldn't see her again until I didn't feel anything for her anymore beyond (perhaps) low-level friendship. In other words, I didn't want to see her again until my feelings for her faded. I've also tried to put myself out there and ask other women out.


Well...........none of it has worked. Six months later, not only have I been unable to get interested in other girls, not only do I still miss her despite her mixed signals, but I still care for her despite her mixed signals (to give you an idea, she was traveling abroad not too long ago, and there were major news reports of large-scale riots in the area she was, and as much as I tried to resist the urge, I caved in and texted her to ask if she was OK). I'm not completely certain how she feels about me, but enough time has passed and enough mixed signals have been sent that I'm pretty confident she's not interested in me.


So, should I bother telling her that I still have feelings for her? Part of me thinks that I should because it would at least give me some closure, and hearing the words, "I'm not interested in you," might help me put a nail in this coffin and move on. On the other hand....


-I'm worried about making her feel weird or awkward around me.

-We have a lot of mutual friends, and I'm worried about making things awkward for them.

-I'm worried about looking weak and spineless by confessing my feelings to somebody who (probably) doesn't feel the same way.


So, what do I do?

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I’ve been in the same situation. We had plenty of mutual friends and i was worried as well. One day i just decided to finally tell her how i felt. She said she was flattered and would’ve definitely said yes if she wasn’t talking to someone. It hurt me, but at least it gave me the info that i needed to know. Now i have to sit here and wait. Hopefully you will get a more yes or no answer. I’d say just go for it. She may surprise you.

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