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You don't know what you've got until it's gone. And do good things come to those who wait?


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, I weren't sure 100% where to even place this post but hope it's in the right category here .


Long story short ? I can't stop feeling exhausted and grey inside, almost daily.. It happened after a break-up, with someone I knew for about 5 years now.


I drank a fair amount of whiskey from the bottle a few days ago . And although I know it wouldn't make it all go away, jeez it I just needed and wanted to take the edge off of everything


Anyway I wonder what I could do to make things better even if that does feel very unlikely at this moment in time.


I've also been feeling suicidal A LOT, recently.


I have always had suicidal thoughts and ideations when I've gone through a bad patch or just feel extremely alone .


This guy was the only man who didn't talk to me either like a piece of meat or a child, he was also self-less, warm and funny. But anyway he's gone now because I messed things up big time in the past with him. But I can't change that now, all I need to know is how the hell to cope


I also have a medical condition and am not very close to my father (who is a possible narc)


Suggestions would be welcome



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