I’m confused, Hurt

[Kimi9059]

I was dating this guy for about 6 months I really liked him with his flaws and all but unfortunately I brought my past hurts into our relationship and it caused problems so he eventually broke up with me. Telling me to change my ways...So we remained friends but that didn’t last long because I told him I couldn’t just be his friends so I told him I would keep my distance but when he didn’t respond like I thought he would I got upset( I know it’s wrong I shouldn’t expected...)Fast to two weeks later when we spoke for the last time he told me once again to change my ways and everything will be alright. He also told me we can still be friends he will always be there for me if I need advice or something but I told him I couldn’t be his friends and I wished him all the best and at first he didn’t want to wish me the same but he finally did at the end. When I hung up the phone it made me feel like I made a mistake because it’s like I felt like maybe there was still some hope. And right now he’s in last semester in engineering and with work he’s really busy... Do you think I should just let it go and move on ? At the same time I feel like he will meet someone new , that’s why I feel like I should try to talk to him.Even though I’m working on myself.I also feel like if he truly liked me wouldn’t he try to contact me ?

 

P. S sorry for the mistakes English is not my first language

[MissCanuck]

At this point, he won't try to contact you because he doesn't see that you have made the changes he hoped. If he is checked out enough to meet someone new, continuing to talk to him won't prevent him from moving on.

 

But I have to ask, what exactly is it he wants you to change? In what ways did you bring past hurts into this relationship?

[Kimi9059]

I was in a abusive relationship about 6 years ago because of that relationship I stayed sing for about 5 years. During those years a thought I confronted my issues like working on my self esteem, my confidence and my trust issues. But once a got in relationship it seems like all my fears of my fast spilled over into my relationship with him. Even though I liked him and he was patient with me I couldn’t trust him. I still had à barrier that prevented me of giving my all in the relationship.As immature it is sometimes I would test him just to see if he would stay with me well the last time I did my testing on him he broke up with me.At the time i felt like if he truly liked me no matter what happened he wouldn’t give up on me but I understand why he did broke up with but I really liked him and I feel like a lost a good man.May I ask how would someone know if you truly changed or not? In my case I’m talking about him