falling in love with a girl that i cannot be with

[one_big_idoit]

Hi ppl.

 

 

just hoping you all can advise me what should i do. i had never been in love for the last 20 yrs of my life...but recently , i fell in love with a very good female friend of mine. problem is...she`s attracted to my good friend , in fact , i played a big part in getting them together.

 

i known her for 3-4 yrs , during this whole time , she got into many relationships (she`s very popular with guys..haha ) but she always had a big crush on my friend . my friend couldn`t care less about her , but both of them were friends so they sort of got into a part time boyfriend/girlfriend relationship , for company , mostly

 

but depending on his mood , he would treat her well or treat her like rubbish. when she was hurt by her , i was always there to cheer her up and when my friend mistreat her ..i would always find ways to let him accept her or at least get him to sweet talk her , any thing to make her happy...she wanted to be with him full time , he didn`t.

 

At that time , my feelings were purely platonic

 

things changed recently , i suddenly fell in love with this stupid girl and at the same time , my friend finally accepted her(haha , i finally managed to convince him a while back to accept her) and is now beginning to love her back. when she tells me how happy she is , i don`t know how i should feel...i should be happy , rite?

 

i told her my feelings for her.. she told me that had i told her earlier , things would be different today but she hope that she won`t lose me as a a good buddy...

 

things got complicated, since then .now when we go out together , as a group of friends. my heart aches when i see them , being close , being "couply" so to speak.

 

i tried to distance myself from her , but she insists that i`m angry with her cause of her relationship with him. i`m not , i`m just not strong enough to see the 1st girl i ever loved being with another guy , ..did i do wrong? isn`t leaving temporary and wishing them the best , the best way?

 

should i distance myself from my friends just to avoid seeing them?

 

 

i`m in a very difficult position..u know? i brought them together , now the only way for me to be with her , is to hope they break up. That doesnt fit well with myself , i can`t think like that..

 

i`m torn between what i need and what i want...please advice me , am i being a idoit or what?

 

thanks alot

[c00kie]

i know what it feels like. i just came out of a situation like yours about 4months ago. except for me the girl i was after was bi and in luv with a chick and whenever they had a fight i got my hopes up but then when they made up i was...gutted. distance yourself but dont forget about her completely. try and preserve the friendship but whatever you do do not interfere with their relationship. if you say 1 thing wrong they will both probably hate you for afew years adn the guilt isnt exactly a nice feeling. just sit back and wait. if they get married and have kids then you 2 probably wernt meant to be. most good things must come to an end. dont worry, try adn forget about your feelings for her for now and try and find someone else.

[Unmotivated]

You've gotten the hard part out of the way by telling her how you feel. My suggestion is to let her go for now. I know it can be hard to forget about someone you love, but it's really not healthy to cling to someone if the situation is grim. Go out and meet new people, but stay friends with her. If her and your friend ever do break up, be there for her and see if anything comes out of it. It sounds like sort of a conniving way of doing things, but from your story it sounds like both this girl and your friend owe you a great deal.

[one_big_idoit]

hi ,

 

thanks alot for the replies...i hope i can do what`s right. It just seem to be such a difficult situation for me.

 

It`s hard , every second of my life , i keep thinking about her and when i do get to see her , i get to see them , being "couply" . i told myself , i should be happy , i can`t be jealous ..but i`m just not that strong.

 

guess the hardest part is that , i have no idea how long , i`ll be waiting.

 

thanks again for the help ..it really helped alot...