Head is a mess!

[missingmybaby]

I am hoping that i can be provided with some clarity on thoughts/feelings as i am a bit confused at present.

 

Ex and I split up nearly 2 years ago but nearly reconciled at the beginning of the year, I decided it wasn't what i wanted and called it off. Three months later I began a new relationship with my current partner.

 

There has been some conflict between the two due too the time period and jealousy etc that is too be expected however this has calmed down somewhat. I have children with my ex which therefore leads me to see her a couple of times a week, our relationship has been very up and down with various rows etc but recently we have managed to get on a lot better and able to communicate as well.

 

Whilst my new partner makes me happy and the relationship is very good in the majority of aspects, both me and my ex do feel some sort of "connection" to each other still. We have both admitted we don't want to be together but when we get on well its really nice and we enjoy each others company, if i'm honest there is sexual tension there also.

 

My thoughts and feelings are a bit all over the place but basically this is what i'm thinking at present...

 

Why am I still feeling this connection with my ex? Is it because the relationship ended suddenly? Do we need to let the journey end to come to a natural end?

Do I neglect this and carry on as i have been with my new partner?

Is my new partner a rebound?

 

Any help/thoughts would be appreciated.

 

Thanks for reading!

[ginaloribic]

Hey, I don't envy you the turmoil that you're in.

 

I found myself in a similar situation around ten years ago. Going between an ex and my now recent ex (hope that makes sense). Looking back, I can see I was trying to make myself happy & forget the person I really wanted to be with by being with someone else. Not saying this is the case with you though.

 

I think having the children together with your ex is always going to leave a connection of sorts between you.

 

Have you spoken to your ex? Asked how she feels?

 

Either way, it's not really fair on your current partner to live a lie, harsh as that may sound. You need to be brutally honest and decide EXACTLY what you want for yourself & try to pursue that. If that's trying to reconcile with your ex, don't use your current partner as a safety net.

[DanZee]

First of all, what you're experiencing is normal and a lot of people have been where you are.

 

As for your ex, of course you're going to feel a connection with her. She's the mother of your 2 children. You were intimate with each other for years. You probably know more about her than any other person in earth. You will never get over that.

 

As for feeling a sexual tension, have you ever heard of ex-sex? It's not uncommon for exes to sleep together every once in a while, particularly during the first few years. You drop off the kids. The ex is feeling low for some reason, such as losing a relative dying or breaking up with a boyfriend, and it happens. Certainly you were once attracted to each other. You're always going to be attracted to her in some ways. You will continue to see her until your kids are grown.

 

That's also why there may be jealousy between your current girlfriend and your ex. She still cares about you and seeing you with another woman drives her a bit crazy. Just as you seeing her with another man may make you jealous.

 

Is your girlfriend a rebound? Technically, yes. The relationship doesn't have to be a failure, however. Just see where it leads.