Feeling guilty

[Jayde992]

Hi really need help getting over this pain and guilt. 2 years ago I met a guy online and we instantly got on really well. He wasn't my usual type but when we finally met I just loved everything about him. He lived really far from me but still travelled to see me. We only met each other two times and he left a huge mark in my heart. After the first time of meeting him, I just couldn't stop thinking about him, and we spoke ever now and then on text. I based my life around him, I wanted to future with him and I had always dreamt about being his girlfriend. two years after we first met, we finally met up again. that was probably the best day of my life. we tried to arrange a meeting after the second time of meeting, but I was always scared of getting my heart broken by him. One day he told me that he wanted to be friends and I felt absolutely heart broken. I decided to get myself a rebound just to get over him and I met a lovely guy, who was extremely sweet and treated me a lot better than the other guy. When the other guy found out I met someone else, he then tells me that he wanted be with me and kept flirting with me. Because I had strong feelings towards this guy, I entertained it. i was upset because I was not with him and the guy o am

With, I just couldn't love him or find him attractive like I did for this other guy. It upset me everyday to point where I became obsessed with my ex and I lied about him to my new guy. I made him out like he was obsessed with me and he was harassing me. The new guy then took matters into his hands and got in touch with him. they spoke about a lot of the things I've said and done and now I've lost the other guy and I am with the new guy. There is too a day that goes by where I don't feel guilty about what I've done, I truly miss him and it makes it hard for me to fall in love with the new guy. I feel anger towards him because he got in touch with my ex, i tried to be normal around him but I look at him and I feel that I don't want to be with him. If feel extremely guilty that my freindship/ relationship with the other guy ended in that way.

[WillowWandered]

I would just learn from this and move on from both guys. It sounds like you should focus on yourself and keep yourself healthy and moving. If you don't like the guy you're with, cut him loose so you both can find happiness elsewhere. Work on yourself, and don't feel guilty over the past. Just learn from it and move on. Don't lead someone on you aren't fully into.