Boyfriend treats me like when he's around his friends

[Lonelylenol]

I've been with this guy for over 5 years. I love him to death and can not imagine my life without him. But my main problem with him is that every single time that he is around his friends, he treats me like . Basically, he would just ignore me as if I'm not even there. I don't have a problem with his friends at all. I think they are great. It's the way he acts with me when they're around. And no, I don't need any PDA stuff. Maybe just acknowledge that I'm around too... I try and give him time alone with his friends but he keeps insisting on me to come and hang out and when I say no, he seems offended. But I'm also not the best when it comes to him going out. I don't know. Part of me knows that I'm being selfish, but also part of me thinks that I should just move on because I know you can't really change people into the way you want them to. And I'm pretty sure that he will always stay the same. I just don't know what to do anymore... I really want a future with this guy, but I don't think it will work out in the end as much as I would like it to.

 

I have tried talking to him about this and he just brushes it off and doesn't really care. As long as it's about his friends, he will take their side and only their side. And I'm left all alone.

[j.man]

I mean I don't crash my girlfriend's brunches with her friends and get in a tiff because she didn't laugh at my avocado joke.

 

The easy solution is to let him have his night out with his friends. Sometimes our partners have friends we wouldn't necessarily get chummy with on our own. That's fine. That's why you have your own friends. And if you don't, go get some. I don't like that he's "acting offended" (whatever that subjectively means), but he's also caught between a rock and a hard place if you, as you admit, otherwise "aren't the best" about him going out. Sounds like he can't really win.

[TulipTrees]

The part that is disturbing is you day he always takes his friend sides over yours, and hole a good partner should always have you back and be clear that his first priority is to his partber/family.

 

Otherwise he may not be ready to settle down and is in some kind of 'bromance' phase with his friends he needs to grow out of, but some men never do.

 

If he always drops you the second his buddies are around, but insists you go along and sit there like a piece of furniture, then he is treating you like a pet and not a partner. This is really immature behavior for a grown up.

 

Id first suggest that you start setting aside a boys/girls night out where you don't go and don't hang around his friends but instead do your own things. .

 

But the problem is he wants both the boys and you around all the time, then he's not being reasonable and is being selfish and expects you to just fit into his life while he makes no changes to his bromances to accommodate your needs and be respectful to you. Time to move on.