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What does my ex really want?how can we fix out relationship?


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Hi there,i can’t seem to find anyone who can give me useful advice since my friends and family are overprotective and don’t look at the big picture.

Me(26F) and my boyfriend(29M) have been together for 7years and been living together for almost 7y too..we were not on our honeymoon phase anymore but we always loved each other a lot,always had a great relationship,helped each other,we’ve been through a lot and were a team.about a year ago things got more difficult,we started arguing way more than the usual,he was stressed due to work,me 2,and he started to unload his frustrations on me,at our relationship,he even said i should break up with him a bunch of times,he had a lot of ups and downs and he was treating so wrong that i convinced myself he didnt love me anymore so i decided to leave,he begged me not to,said he was just stressed and he was gonna change,he even bought a ring and proposed.we tried for a few weeks but i was fed up and i left.when we were apart i was so mad at he only proposed when i was gonna leave.one night i had a one night stand with a friend who had been helping deal with the break up.i regretted it imediatly.i guess i had to do it ho realize i still really loved him and we deserved a second chance,we got back together and i told him about the ONS,at first he forgave me but then he said he couldnt deal with the fact that i was with another person and acused me of cheating and broke up with me.i tried no contact for 2weeks,he broke it calling super drunk saying he needed my help,i went to our house,he said he still loved me very much,wanted to have babies,we had sex,and next day he said he was sorry for calling.the past 2 weeks he says he tried very hard to forget what i did but he can’t but them he doesnt seem to want to end contact,he’s always asking me on dates,or call me in the middle of the night..i told him if he didnt want to get back together he shouldn’t contact me anymore.he agreed but then sent me a photo with him really drunk with a lot of girls in his studio,i asked him was that and said it should have been me and that he loves me and misses me and wants to be with me.next day says he doesnt remember anything.apparantly he’s going out with a different girl everynight and drinking a lot but then he feels guilty and says i’m the one and he’s sorry.i understand he is mad at me,but i also know he loves me and can’t live without me.how can i make him forgive me so we can be together and happy again?and yes i understood what i have to change,and he does too.i need some male insight please,not just the dump him and move on stuff 🙁

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