Communication Problems in LDR

[appleman]

I realized a lot of people are having communication issues within their long-distance relationship, so I want to help. In the beginning of my ldr, I made it very clear to my girlfriend, that communication is key. Lack of communication and miscommunication are the ways to screw things up in your relationship.

 

Lack of communication happens when one partner becomes very busy and isn’t able to spend as much time with their significant other as they used to. Their SO doesn’t feel like he or she is a priority to the (busy) partner, but they understand how busy their partner is, so they don’t say anything. Resentment rises and one goes overboard with sarcasm. The other gets offended not knowing where this came from. An argument is born

 

It is important to explain how you feel, to prevent a future conflict. Say something along the lines of, “hey, I feel like we don’t talk as much as we used to.” This should wake up your partner, and make him or her realize that they’re not making time for their SO.

 

Miscommunication between couples are happening more than ever, especially now with texting. Arguments are springing up because your partner thinks you meant one thing when actually you meant another.

 

To solve this problem, just simply take the time to be clear and exact when talking over the phone or texting. You have to do this because over the phone body language can’t be read. Over text messages, your tone of voice can’t be heard.

[D1mps]

LDR's are so hard! The possibility of misunderstanding one another, is HUGE! As you rightly suggest and touch on in this post.

 

But What happens if you follow these rules and you both try to be heard and frustration on both sides only exacerbates the situation?

 

What if the cyclone of misunderstanding, adds more confusion and then eventually, one of you gets so frustrated, they give up? Or worse, ghost you?

Yes! I've just had this happen to me.

 

Sometimes with the best plan and best intentions, things just don't go the way you want.

[appleman]

Want to start by saying thanks for reading and for the response.

 

In a relationship arguments are bound to happened, with this advice it will drastically reduce the chance of this happening but won't 100% eliminate all problems.

 

You guys are a couple, a team, there is no giving up. When you guys are trying to solve an argument and both sides are getting frustrated, its ok to step back and approach the situation later on. Don't feel like it has to be solved right then and there because all you guys are doing is adding more fuel to the fire.

 

Come back when you both had some time to cool down and come at the situation in a calmer mood

[D1mps]

Where I agree this method could work in a normal, stable relationship, I'm just trying to point out that there are some cases where this wouldn't.

 

I've just spent months getting to know someone and days later, trying to figure out why they fought with me over something trivial and then, they proceeded to ghost me!!!

 

I've also just uncovered, that this person was not being honest with me all along. A cause and reason for all the drama and discussing, no doubt.

And all while they knew I had come out of a previously abusive relationship.

 

My point is, online dating is a minefield! And LDR leave room for lies.

And even with the best intentions and all the right actions, it just doesn't work.

A person will pull all kinds of argumentative stunts if they want to wriggle out of something bad enough!

[JenHopkin37]

This is a meaningful post. Strike right into my heart now. Mine just ended not long ago....yes, it does leave room for dishonesty....especially when the man you love has an ex girlfriend who is still a very big and important part of his life, hang around at his house just the two of them alone all the time (mind you, its platonic only according to him) . I cant figure out why, they dont have a child together or anything, yet there's this unbreakable bond of theirs that i am supposed to just totally trust from a distance....and yeah, i havent met her in person before, he is very protective of her, i didnt even know her name until recently. Smells very fishy? and yet i was the crazy, insecure, jealous one who "believe what i choose to believe".....