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My Story - Advice needed, does it get easier!

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Hi Guys,


Thought I would come on and share my story and look for some general support/advice.


So I've been with my girlfriend for 14 months, and to be honest, the good times where great but my god did we Argue. I'm 24 she's 22 (and a young 22 in my eyes). We used to argue over everything and anything and unfortunately, I would lose my temper pretty bad and call her some horrendous names (nothing physically violent or anything at all! but name calling abuse).


Overall though we tended to sort things out...be okay again for a couple of months...literally NOTHING would happen then we would break up for like 2-3 days and then be loved up again.


So We booked a holiday to New York together in August coming up in 3 weeks and to be honest even though I love the girl, the arguments where too much, we where both needy, both fairly untrustworthy (didn't like each other going out with friends, any time either brought up going on a night out with friends it would start an argument regardless). But again...the fun times where amazing, truly amazing. But I was thinking...After NYC...I may review it and call it a day as despite loving the girl...the args where too often.


Well 3 weeks ago same thing happened and she'd had enough..She ended it and seemed to be for good. I was ruined, I did everything, I crawled back, I was a needy mess, bought flowers, promised the world and 3 days later...we got back and both agreed we are going to cut the and get this rel to work.


4 days later an argument sparks again and it ends...I try and try but nope, she doesn't want it any more. Says she has dates lined up etc. So the week after (now last week) We're clearly playing games, unblocking and re-blocking each other on whatsapp and facebook, odd message here and there, all negative though. I then find out not only has she been on a date...but is now in a relationship already with her first every boyfriend from when they were like 16. She's sending me messages of their length of facetime calls, texts between them, even a pic of them together out somewhere So I go out with a couple friends last Friday night and she starts messaging me...giving me grief for being "out on the pull" as we say in the UK. Sat comes round and again we play the whatsapp blocking game, both being online...both "typing..." but no message comes up.


I notice her facebook is single and this dudes is in a relationship so on the Friday where she is giving me grief, I gave it her back and said you jumped back with an old ex which to me is a COMPLETE rebound?

Anyway...After all this...its now Thursday, we have spoken briefly over email this week and she has said she is indeed with this lad. And for me to leave her alone...and its broken me. I hate it. I have her blocked on facebook so I cant check up on her and have deleted her number so cant go on whatsapp or text...


Will this feeling go away? I feel horrendous. Not eating, feeling depressed, I think its more the fact after a 14 month loved up relationship (bad arguments but 95% was really loved up) She has straight away got with an old Ex and was (no longer talking to me though) showing off about it.


Will this go away over time? Is it best to just leave her alone? I feel so crap at the minute as I did really love this girl even though I considered ending it after nyc (but think this was more during arguments Im thinking argh F this Im getting rid once we have been on holiday!) But now she has dumped me, got with an old fella and its crushed me


Will time heal all wounds? Would you recommend no contact? Its difficult and just really struggling to enjoy anything at the minute all I want to do is reach out to her but she has stated to leave her b and she now has a new boyfriend already...

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hi Guys, have posted bits and bobs in other threads and got some great advice. So the holiday is tomorrow and I'm going with a parent now, the latest is not much really, I went NC on Sunday 6th August but lasted 2-3 days each time. Haven't heard from her since then. I'm so tempted to text before the holiday but I'm wondering if I don't...perhaps tonight/tomorrow she might be thinking "man I could have been going on holiday with him now" kinda thing. But yeah she's with someone else, I have tried to make light, polite contact on a couple of occasions in the past 1.5 weeks, I have never got a reply. This past saturday I did finally think...F this...it's done - no more contact, move on. Then it came to tuesday evening and I noticed I had been unblocked on instagram...so me being foolish I sent a message..wishing well etc. Nothing too much, not like "come back to me!" or "I'm always here for you!" just a general message really. She saw it, no reply - reblocked. bit odd. That's the only thing coming from her side really is she unblocked me on something for some reason...who knows.


But yeah would you text before the holiday? that we were supposed to be going on or just leave it

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  • 3 weeks later...

Apologies for the lengthy post, anyone who cares to read I would MASSIVELY appreciate it. Argh so much has happened since I was last on here. I need to go NC but im proper struggling.


So i went to new york on a weeks holiday and got back last week - this was a hol me and my gf where supposed to go on. We broke up a month before she refused to go, i couldnt find a paying replacement with such short notice or get a refund, so my mother came with me. Initially i thought F my ex, she made her choice shes getting nothing. But when I got back my mother wanted to give her half and I agreed, so I paid her back half. I had been blocked on whatsapp, (she had unblocked me on facebook while i was away but i blocked her as i didnt want to see her with her new bf) we spoke on and off while i was away, mainly her being quite negative tbh.


Anyway i got back, and went round to her house this wednesday, i showed up out of the blue and gave her half the money back. It was her mum who answered so i have it her, she was a bit rude tbh said we appreciate it thats it. Then my ex text me saying thanks for the money i really appreciate it. I made a couple jokes about how i didnt think anyone was answering the door and how i was act pretty nervous she was nice back saying like "lol dw about it thats understandable". We spoke a bit over the next couple of days.


So on thursday i said im surprised im still unblocked, she said aslong as u behave u will be, i said as in not flirting or anything and she said yeah lol. She said she no longer hates me. I did ask though do u think we could ever "be" again. She said thats a naughty thing to ask.


i decided to lay it out there, said i still had feelings etc. She responded in a way basically saying i have a boyfriend im loyal i wont cheat, i said no im not asking you to cheat lol im telling u how i feel and then the balls in your court really. It was odd, she reacted in a way kind of saying like "but when we were together this happened that happened etc" not being negative or nasty as she once was, but not also saying "omg i still love u!". She didnt respond to the last couple friday morning, so i thought right, thats it, ive sorted the money out which was hanging over my head, ive said how i feel...thats that. Im leaving it. She has unblocked me and been civil but hasnt said yes i want you back so will respect her decision.


She then replies last night like 12 hours after my last message completely different attitude, much more negative, saying other girls i have history with are my type and she isnt, it seemed like she'd had a drink i didnt say that ofc, but yeah she never said leave me alone but it was similar to her response the day before but certainly much more aggression. I remained nice and kind of said no problem i respect your decision. So me being an idiot, i was out with friends, gets to 2am and im drunk, so i reply being soppy as anything, proper ballsed up here. Saying you should be with me bla bla, she responded by mentioning past girls again saying "no u deserve this girl, go for them". She also knew i was out...and was saying things like "go pull your (townname we live) chicks" she was saying things as if she was pissed off I was out on the town...

It was like she was bothered but still saying im a loyal girl and i have a bf so it is what it is.


I wake up this morning and now im reblocked, i sent an email to which she responded calling me being negative, giving me grief for stuff in the relationship, then said "get on with your average life going out to clubs you used to slag off to me getting such and such a girls your so 2 faced bla bla". It was so out of nowhere lol


I sent a message saying what did I say thats made you do a complete turn on me? I only told u how i felt and shes gone from being civil again during the week to completely negative and quite nasty now.


I think im unsure about why she waited ages to reply on the friday then seemed to turn on me and be negative all of a sudden and she acted like she was bothered I was out with friends, then has blocked me on stuff again. Proper headf tbh!


I do know her new bf isnt based round here and she only sees him on weekends so I can think maybe she was being ok during the week when not with him, perhaps she has seen him friday, told him and he's said "tell him this tell him that" but this is a COMPLETE guess.


I know i just need to give up, i opened up, she responded initially nice and quite funny/playful but kind of said look i have a boyf and when i first asked if she thinks it could ever happen it wasnt a no...it was a "thats naughty to ask". I said similar friday night and she said "no it wont happen" just turned completely but at the end of the day i opened up and she didnt welcome me back with open arms so i think i just need to call it quits. Sick of her games too so much blocking unblocking blocking etc in the past few weeks on facebook, whatsapp instagram the list goes on.

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