Don't know what I should do

[sadgirlfriend]

My boyfriend and I are doing long distance over the summer. We met at college and fell in love and have been together for about a year. Things were going great until we went on summer break. The first month of May was good, and I thought if long distance was gonna be like this, it won't be so bad. Then, he gets a job working 9-4/5, 5 days a week. He works and comes back and spends time with his family. We barely talk anymore and our relationship has taken a slight hit. We've had talks recently our relationship and are planning on staying together. But it is taking an emotional toll on me. I am not hopelessly waiting around for him to reply, but I would like talk to him for more than 10-15 minutes everyday. I'm torn because I know he's working hard and he's not purposefully avoiding me, but I'm just upset that we don't have the same relationship as we used to. We go back to school the first week of September and then we will see each other all the time. I just need some advice on what I should be doing so we can make it work over these next 2 months.

[glitterfingers]

When you're not getting what you need out of a relationship, and your requests are reasonable (which they are in this situation), you have to learn the very difficult skill of asking for what you want. This is obviously going to vary in its delivery depending on the dynamics of your relationship and specific circumstances, so take some time to think about it and how you can propose the idea to your boyfriend that you're actually feeling rather neglected and sorely missing him, need a little more one on one time with him. Try and find a decent opportunity to bring this up during your daily messages, but if there is none, then don't be afraid to send one 2-3 sentence text that explicitly states your wish to connect with him more regularly (and then give him plenty of time to respond).

 

My suggestion would be trying to work in a phone call or Skype/Facetime once or twice a week. In my relationship, we usually schedule these a day or two in advance so we can ensure that we get all the important stuff we have to do in our own busy lives out of the way, and set a few hours aside just for us. Reality is he doesn't need to spend 7 nights a week with his family. Even if you limit these calls to 1-2 hours twice a week, you'll still be getting some decent quality time in.

 

If he's unwilling to make time for you after you've made this very reasonable request, that's a different issue altogether and signals a lack of commitment. But it sounds to me like you're simply not asserting your needs right now, and unfortunately our partners are not mind readers!