rocky relationship need help

[heartofgold]

Hi, This is kinda complicated so I will try and make it short as I can. I am in a relationship with a wonderfull woman. But, he it comes, she was in a relationship with her ex for 12 yrs. and it took her over a yr. to get over it. We got together about 4 months after they broke up. Then after we were together for about 2 months she told me she couldnt do it anymore that she was still inlove with her ex. So we stayed in the same house and same bed. I held her at night when she would cry over her ex. A year ago this past Feb. she asked me to be a couple again, told me that she loved me and wanted to be with me as a couple. So now, things are not so good. She has a son that is ADHD and possible Bi-Polor and really gives us hell, she is looking for work and not having luck, unemployement is fixing to run out, she is going to college full time, so she is very stresses out. She tells me that some days she really loves me and somedays she could care less. She has no intrest in sex hardly at all. And now she is thinking that maybe we shouldnt be together. I have asked her to see a counselor and so has her ex, they are still very good friends by the way and the other parent of her son. I asked her to wait and see if the counselor could help her figure out what she wants and what is wrong with her. She tells me that I am everything she wants in someone, but she wants more and doesnt know what that more is. She tells me that somedays she feels inlove with me, those are her good days as she puts it. And then other days she could care less if im around. Please any advice would be greatly appreciated.

[perhaps]

Believe someone who tells you that. I wish I had. I finally heard clearly that the women I loved loved me but was not in love with me. Clearly there are moments she loves me too but they arent enough. You deserve love. Wait for the right person. She may be the right person for you but like in my case you may be the wrong person for her. It is also ego gratifying for power mongers for you to love them and not have it reciprocated. Im not sorry she gave in to me only sorry I didnt hear her clearly enough. Listen now or waste a decade of your life.

[cookies]

it seems to me that she has alot of issues going on, and if ur trying to lead her in the right direction,....to a conselor that will help her figure out whats going on...i would think that she would appreciate your concern for her overall health. She really needs counselling, if for anything to gain a more balanced lifestyle, gain an understanding if what it is that she really wants in life, not from u..and most importantly for that child that has ADHD.

 

A child with ADHD is not to be blamed for his or her hyper a ctivity. its just a chemical imbalance, that sometimes really need to be treated with medications...no IFS, ANDS..or BUTS about it. Also, this child needs a bit more attention than a kid without this diagnostic does, because to some extent, they have grown into a learned pattern of behaviour that affects many factors within the home, and im sure school too..and it has to be slowly altered in order to bring some level of normalcy back into everybodys lives.

 

You are doing a good thing, by suggesting counselling. And really do think about the consequences of staying with sumone that says they are unsure from day to day of when and if they love you. It could be how she truly feels, or it could be a result of her needing counselling, and depression may have her thinking unrightly...

 

good luck..

 

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