Too much to handle....

[collegekitten]

Okay here's the story me and my now ex-boyfriend had gotten back together for the 4th time since 7th grade this time we were together for over 2 1/2 years. The girlfriend before me cheated on him and its taken me just about 3 years to undo all the damage she has caused. He thinks I'm gonna cheat on him which I'm not...I could never do that to him. Well everything was going great until he quit hs job. He had been seeing his ex as a friend and I was fine with it because I trusted him, but then he told me that they still had feelings for each other and that he didn't know what he wanted...

About a few days later he said that he wanted to be with me because he didn't want to lose me and that he wanted to marry me one day. But he said he needed his space and that he didn't want me calling him everyday...So I didn't and after not hearing from him for 2 days it was a Friday night and I called my friend, one of my ex's that I've been hanging out with forever, and we went out and had a good time. We rode by my bf's house around 11 that night and the ex-gf's truck was in the driveway. He had told me that he wasn't going to see her because it was bad for our relationship and that she was going to Kentucky...that obviously didn't happen.

I got mad and he thought I was being childish for getting upset. The main reason I got upset was the fact that he was going behind my back without telling me.....He knew when I hung out with other guys and from what my one friend says he get's raging mad when I'm with a guy.....But it's like I wasn't allowed to get mad....Well I don't know how long he's been seeing her without me knowing so on Monday I broke up with him saying that I felt that I needed space and that we needed to take a break....I've got other issues going on in my life and I wasn't going to talk to or see him this month and next month go back to being friends.....

 

I felt betrayed by him....Was I in the wrong??

[RayKay]

I think you were right to feel betrayed sweetheart, he obviously was hiding it from you, and he himself admitted there were some feelings there between the both of him so he should of been keeping his distance from her if he loved you, not be hanging out with her more and hiding the fact from you.

 

I think you did the right things here and I think you are trusting your gut instinct. If he could not tell you about it, I think he himself knew things were not entirely "innocent". Nothing physical may have happened, but he was certainly allowing his emotions to stray.

 

Since you guys have been so on-off again for much of your teenage years, I think some space is a very good idea for both of you. You both are going to have lots of growing to do the next few years, and if you are meant to be together you will, but I am sure there will be other opportunities out there and other men to whom you might find an even closer bond with. Not saying you and he should be over forever, but you do deserve someone who is at least honest with you about spending time with his ex, espececially when he admits to feelings being there. He wanted space - and you have given it to him!

 

And learn to trust your gut as I think you already have here It will serve you well in the future.

 

Good luck,

 

RayKay

[Nataliasolange]

You dealt with the situation perfectly. He was not being completely honest with you! I think you are a very strong chick! Its nice to read about women knowing when its time to let go...

[collegekitten]

Thanks for replying and I know I did the right thing, but it's so hard...

I mean I truly love him...He's the first guy I had ever slept with and I mean there was so much there....He's 20 now and I'll be 20 in about 11 days and our anniversary would have been in 7 days exactly....I mean we had spoken about the future and he had given me a promise ring and everything.....

 

I told him that I wanted to be in his life so we'll be friends, but I know that in sept. he'll be going down to Florida for 9 months for his career and maybe after the 9 months he'll grow up a bit and he'll see that both of us might have been childish.....

[Nataliasolange]

I truly believe whats is meant to be will be my dear and only time will tell. Please keep your head up, things always work out in the end!

[collegekitten]

Okay....update....on the whole situation...

We're still taking a break, but we both know that it's not permanently over between us....This ex of his just kinda showed up and just hit him pretty hard and she wants him back, but he says he loves me so much and that its better for use to be apart while he gets everything worked on in his own mind just in case something were to happen between them.

 

We talked for 3 hours lastnight and I know that he's going to keep in touch while we're not together....

I'm not backing down from what I said, but I'm not ready to let go when there's still something there....He didn't lie....but my 'friend' that has been sneaking around for me has been.....

[collegekitten]

One month later and we're back together...

 

We went through a lot of the month and we've both grown and matured....He realized that I'm not worth losing or he wouldn have wanted me back. We're trying to take everything slow and work everything out...I know that we can even though it's really hard because I want everything to go back to the way it was between us before everything happened.....

 

I love him and I want to be with him and it was his decision to choose me over the ex and even though she's still in the picture I'm setting some boundaries....