We both decided that we should give it a shot .

[justlike_always]

Hey,

 

I posted here a while ago about a situation and umm yeah we're gunna keep the baby, and that's what we both want.

 

I was really depressed actually and i guess i just kinda got relief on here by just letting it all out.

 

I think the one reason why i was so naive before in thinking that if i can't be commited to her, we shouldn't keep our baby was because to me it was like there wasn't a baby there. I visited her yesterday night and i told her what i thought about everything before and initially yeah, ovcoarse she was upset, she was telling me about how i could do say such things because of before and after a long night of discussion and tears she made me realise that even if we don't stay together for as long as we could you know, what am i kidding myself? Ovcoarse i'm always going to be in love with her because she's the mother of my kid, and i'm always going have a place in my heart for her.

 

I'm ready, and i'm gunna be a dad. When i saw her, it showed, i could see the difference, i've got a kid on the way. She's 8 weeks. Her hips have expanded and you can see in her belly that there's something growing inside and i'm ready for fatherhood. I'm ready to be a dad.

 

So thanks to everyone for just listening and taking notice to what i said. I appreciated it.

[Jetta]

Good luck to you both. Now start planning for the financial requirements, maybe start stocking up on stuff now. Diapers and formula aren't cheap.

[mysticaleyes]

wow...it's great that you made a decision and decided to stick with your actions. If more boys could be like you!!!! well your young and do think about the future even though you will have a kid...like going to college and being the best dad you can ever be. Well what else can i say except that not all guys are jerks..hehe. well take care.

[melrich]

Congratulations. You have done the right thing talking to your g/f and letting her know your feelings. At least she can make some decisions knowing all the facts.

 

Being a father, I know how scary it is when you first find out you are going to have a baby. I think every prospective father goes through it, how good a dad will I be, can I provide financially for my child etc. etc. In some ways fathers are the forgotten part of the equation and the mixed emotions they go through are not really widely discussed or addressed.

 

I found the first 3 months of the pregnancy to be very stressful and like you did not believe it was real until their were visible changes in my partner. Once I had accepted it I found an overwhelming sense of pride and love for my partner. I hope you find this too. don't be scared to go with it. Don't fight it.

 

Best of luck with it all. Stay in touch.

[Hope75]

I also want to congratulate you on your decision to step up to the plate and be a part of your baby's life.

 

There are so many kids growing up now with one or no parents it's nice to see someone even as young as you are ready to commit to such a huge undertaking.

 

Some food for thought, as Jetta said, you are going to want to start putting money away, as much as you can. Babies are very expensive, between Dr's appts, diapers, formula, clothes, crib, carseat, stroller etc etc, and that's before they are even a year old. Friends of mine have a 7 month old baby girl and they are both making great money but can't believe how expensive it is to have her!

 

Also, maybe you guys would benefit from some parenting classes? This is not an insult, I think any first time parent would be smart to take a class if they can. Check into any local community centers or your local Planned Parenthood Clinic, local hospitals, they should be able to point you in the right direction.

 

You are in for a lot of BIG changes in your life, and it is going to be tough, but I admire you for taking responsibility for your actions and doing everything you can to be an active parent.

[RayKay]

I am glad to hear that you have had a change of heart since your last post - you are being a responsible adult for accepting the consequences of what can happen with sex, and your girlfriend is also very fortunate. Even if you two are not together forever, I hope you both aim to give this child the best you can.

 

Try and stay involved through the pregnancy - with doctors appointments and the like. There will be many times I am sure you will get scared and want to run, but hang in there - holding that baby at the end will be worth it for you.

 

Start planning now - for everything from care for the baby so you can both go to school to how to afford diapers and clothing, call some local teenage clinics in your area for classes for teenage parents and counselling to help you figure out where to start and how to plan. Put that call out for secondhand clothing to family members and so on and start stocking up....thoe few months go by fast!

 

Be strong, and congratulations - parenthood is the toughest job in the world, and definitely the most important, but also the most rewarding.

[kskm]

Congrats! Please please please please please please please please be apart of you your kids live. Please. Even if you get mad at the mother, stay in your childs life.

[justlike_always]

Yeah er actually Ally, my girlfriend who i was expecting a baby with just miscarriaged 10 weeks into her pregnancy. I'm pretty, i dunno. Gone. I'm sort of depressed again. Angry. I was preparing myself for everything, i knew i was working for two and i kept assuring that she was eating right for the kid. I was looking after two people. Making changes for the future. Now its been taken away. The doctor said that it could be caused due to genetic reasons. Because of how everything was before, it's like this has happened because in the end i didnt deserve a child. This has been the toughest past few months of my life. I feel completely selfish. At the beginning i didn't want it, now it's gone. And i feel f..''''''d''.

 

I think were over. She doesnt wanna see me. Wont let me in. Not being straight with me or cooperating just like before. Weve changed so much. She's not the only one with feelings. I'm soo destraught too. How do you get everything back together? I'm so depressed. I hate myself. I just wanna get away from everything.

[RayKay]

I am very sorry to hear about this, it is hard for you and your girlfriend I am sure.

 

Just know that miscarriages are very common...and often it is because genetically things are not working out for that fetus...miscarriages are often the way for your body to tell you things are not right and prevent children with serious defects being born.

 

Don't feel as if you do not deserve a child, one day you will be able to have one, but this one just was not 'meant to be' for whatever reason. If you are feeling this torn up about it, I think there should be some loss support groups or therapy available for you to talk to about these feelings you are having.

 

And give your gf time, right now she is probably in a lot of pain, and may even be blaming herself...give it some time.