Being completly honest with another

[jj327]

Hi All,

 

Recently, my guy of 2 years discovered I did some very bad stuff during the first year of our relationship. I was with a few other guys, and he found out about one of them. He told me I needed to tell him everything. So I've told him about everything that ever remotely happened that he would disapprove of. We've had so many talks about trust and honesty now that I know I don't want to ever do any of those things again.

 

Twice now, I've asked him, looking into his eyes, if there's anything he's done in our relationship that I need to know about. He's told me 'No -- Some people don't cheat and get around'. That was a blow to me but I guess I deserved it after cheating on him.

 

Long story short, I found out he'd been emailing people last year, from January - June, maybe longer, when my infidelities happened, and sending them pics of himself, seeking hot oral fun, etc. Whether he actually did anything after these emails I'll never know. I know about these emails and he doesn't know I know. I've been jumping through hoops to earn his trust back, yet he can't be flat out honest with me. He wants me to go to counseling for infidelity. What should I do...I mean the emails are his private emails, but they contain that information. I have no clue what to do. It's not like I'm going to leave him over the emails, becaus e I wronged too, but I admitted to it and didn't try to cover it up, when asked.

 

What should I do?!?!?!

 

Thanks in advance.

[justsweetgirl]

All the talks about honesty and trust don't really matter if he is keeping secrets. Confront him compassionately. Tell him it doesn't change your wanting to be with him, but you need to know.

[kere]

how did u find out about th emails????.....did u read his email?????.....trust and honesty in a relationship is a two way street. If u read his private email,he may turn the tables on you and say u were snooping!!!!! and that u don't trust him...how can he trust you...blah blah blah!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

This is a tough situation. It must be hard to pure ur heart out to him and find out he has been keeping secrets too. Is there a way to ask him about the emails without making urself look bad...if u infact read his email......

 

In any case, no one likes confrontations and he may become very defensive. mhhh...definetly ask him about it.......like i said honestly is a two way street!!!!!!

 

kere