Crush on friend, but need the friendship!

[nemo_lost]

So here's the deal... on the surface it's a typical "guy has a crush on girl friend" scenario that isn't reciprocated. But this one is different becuase I just moved to Chicago from Cali a few months ago. My job and living situation is such that I don't meet a lot of people, and everyone at work is older (I'm 24, everyone else is 40+). I've become friends with this girl, who happens to be very attractive, who lives a block from me and we met and started talking at the bookstore. I really don't have a lot of other friends. We have spent a lot of time together... movies out, movies in, dinner, even shopping! I've known her now for about 4 months but I'm sure she just wants to be friends. My dilemma is that I have a huge crush on her that's eating me up, but at the same time I can't afford to lose her as a friend if I say anything about it. A lot of posts talk about having nothing to lose by brinigng it up, but I think there is a lot to lose here, despite the fact that my life revolves around knowing what she's up to. I hate feeling this way, and I'm jealous when she hangs out with other friends of her's... perhaps because i'm lonely i want all the attention to myself? Any help or adive from anyone out there. I'm shy enough as it is!

[Sn0man]

Nemo_lost, thats a really tough call. Generaly speaking, letting her know you have a thing for her won't hurt the friendship, unless you try too hard or you try to guilt trip her into having feelings for you. That will wreck it all.

 

You say you have already basically gone on several dates with this girl. She obvioulsy likes you alot too, but in what way you don't truly know. Some women prefer to become friends with someone before they will consider dating them. I say it's worth a shot. Just try to bring it up casually, and if she says she's just not feeling it then leave it at that and take it in stride, and let her see thet you're o.k. with that, so she won't feel bad and try to avoid you later on.

 

All in all, it's probably safe to at least try, so you won't be kicking yourself later saying, "what if".

 

Good Luck

[nemo_lost]

Hey snoman... cool advice. If it helps any, we talked once about people we've dated and how she considered a date as dinner and maybe a movie (and blah blah blah how lunch or coffee isn't really a date). I said something along the llines of "like dinner and a movie like we've been on?" and she said "yeah, but those really weren't dates. It is ture I never suggested it being a date, and she probably assumed it was friends going out. I'm usually a pretty stong minded person, but given my current lack of friends I'm at a loss of experience. Thanks for the input dude!