Advice needed - BF of 6 years sexting other women

[Dorothee]

This is my first ever post so please be patient with me if I get anything wrong! This is a bit of a long story but I really need some help as I don't know what to do...

 

Just over a year ago I found out that my boyfriend had been sexting other women. I found a profile he'd set up on a swingers website with a fake name and a long string of dirty messages online back and forth, with sexual pictures he'd sent of himself and received from others. In some of them he'd asked to meet up with them, but never actually did, and I don't think he would have gone through with it. He'd also given his number and I found some of them as texts and not just online. I looked at his internet history and found out he'd been doing this for over a year and I had absolutely no idea. I thought we had the perfect relationship. About a year before I found any of this out, I went travelling on my own for several months and was completely faithful the whole time. I also found out he kissed someone on a night out when I was travelling, but that doesn't actually bother me as much as the other stuff.

 

I decided to try and forgive him (we'd been together for 5 years at this point - 6 now) and we moved on and moved in together. He was disgusted and ashamed with himself and apologised over and over again and promised he'd never do it again and I didn't want to throw away everything so I decided to try to forgive him. I thought we'd put it behind us but about 6 months ago I found a string of texts on his phone between him and a woman saying really disgustingly dirty things to each other, again sending dirty pictures. I confronted him and almost left him, but he was heartbroken and apologetic that he'd done this to me again, and I love him so much that I decided to forgive again. We live together and I wanted to try and make it work.

 

That second time was 6 months ago and I still don't think I've forgiven him fully. I don't trust him at all, I always look through his phone. It look me a long time to think about what I wanted and I think it's only just hitting me now and I really don't know whether to try and stay, and learn to forgive and forget and trust him again, or if I should leave the relationship.

 

Any advice would be really appreciated as i still feel so confused, over a year on. Cheers!

[Littlesun]

I'm new here too . Kinda same problem . I'm with by bf for 3 years and we are supposed to get married in a few months . At the start of.our relationship I caught him sexting other girls , I asked him to stop and he did (or so I thought), I then about a year ago I got contacted by a girl who was disgusted with him as she thought he had feelings for her and they had been texting and setting for months and she found out about me and felt I needed to know . Again he apologized profusely ..deleted his kik account and I thought we moved on . But last week he left his phone and up pops a kik message . I opened it and yep he'd 3 girls on the go there . Sending pics , the works . He begged me not to leave him , said it wasn't cheating and he didn't know why he did it . I don't know what to do . Is it cheating ??? I think it is . He said he is bored and the girls mean nothing to him . I just don't know what to do ..I'm so distraught about this . What are you going to do ? Do you feel your boyfriend is cheating ? Cause I'm not sure about you but it sure as hell hurts me . I feel torn .

[Annie1989]

I caught my boyfriend of 7 years sexting someone 5 weeks ago and you better believe I broke up with him. You deserve better than a weak man who clearly can't control himself. Time to work on yourself and in time you'll see you deserve better. It's never going to stop.