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Contacted ex after 2 months of NC, need thoughts

Donald Plozha

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My ex girlfriend said she needs space back in October 2016, but the whole thing was very... strange. Though she was insisting she didn't feel the same anymore. I tried to change her mind a couple of times, but then stopped at around half of November and went full no contact up until today. Said a simple hello, she answered back a couple of hours later, said hello back and asked how I was. Told her how I was, then asked her what's up, she was short and precise about it, then asked me what was up back. I told her as well, then for a moment she was like "you told me all this to make me feel bad, but I think you would not have done this well with your stuff had we been together" and asked why I removed her from social media? Told her it was for myself, for me to heal and get my head straight. Then she said it was understandable, she had already thought so herself. Further on, we talked about another couple that I thought had been a bad influence on us and the relationship and she agreed big time saying that she has thinkin' about it all the time and agreed they were probably a big influence on us breakin' up, but not the only one, of course. Further on, I told her I don't even know if I want her to be my girlfriend right now, then asked her to go out for a drink or sth. In the conversation she said things like "I like the way you think" and "I like you" more than once. Now, I feel almost completely relieved from any kind of doubt regarding whether I made things 100% clear to her. Yes, I will have some kind of expectations kick in my thoughts spontaneously, but I will manage to keep them as low as possible. She now knows I don't hate on her and took her off of social media because of my own mental health, she got to find out some things that other couple kind of installed in my mind about her and me+her and when I asked her out she said "I am gonna have to think about that" so she is the one that will let me know.


From now on I guess there is no point in contacting her again unless she does as that now will speak volumes about her real desires. Even if it was the case, she now knows I don't hate her or something because we just had a 3 hour convo on Whatsapp, so that is off the list as well. Again, I am not letting my hopes get up or something, I know not much has been done yet.

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It sounds like this conversation went fairly well -- much better than most conversations involving the breaking of no contact


I agree with your assessment to leave the ball in her court at this point. You've said what needed to be said, and she can decide if and how to proceed. Your job is still the same as it was: focus on healing and moving on. If she decides she wants to get back together, then you'll have a choice to make. Until then, assume she isn't coming back.

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