dhgravity Posted January 15, 2017 Share Posted January 15, 2017 I have a close friend of over 10 years that I don't hang out with much anymore because she has a family now but whenever we do see each other it's good times and I appreciate her friendship and consider her one of the closest people in my life. So I reached out to her recently because I've been struggling with some serious depression and said "Hey I need some help" and I told her I was having a hard time holding onto my job or getting up for work and I found her response to be a bit patronizing.. it went something like "hahaha well I don't want to work either nor this person or this person" So I got upset and said "If I wanted a lesson on how to toughen up I would have called my dad" and quickly ended the conversation. I felt bad about what i said, and the next day contacted her about it and apologized and said something along the lines of "I felt like you were patronizing me last night and I got upset, I'm not myself lately. I felt bad that I was kinda rude to you and just wanted to make sure that we are ok, I would appreciate if you got back to me sometime. I also tried calling but no answer. It's been 3 days now with no response back and it's really bothering me.. I don't know how friends can be so fickle. Especially someone I have been close friends with for such a long time. If a friend of mine needed help and I knew they were suffering I wouldn't just leave them in limbo waiting for a response like that. How hard is it to send a text? or make a phone call? it takes what 5seconds to 2 minutes of your day? I just take it very personally. Especially since a similar situation happened a few years ago with this same friend and she eventually got back to me and acted as if nothing happened and said oh I was busy. Am I over reacting? Link to comment
Hollyj Posted January 15, 2017 Share Posted January 15, 2017 No. You're not. She should have been more sympathetic and supportive. Please do not reach out again, as she does not seem like a very good friend - never associate time spent with reliability and care. I suggest you reach out to your other friends, and also look into some therapy to handle your depression. Best of luck. Link to comment
dhgravity Posted January 15, 2017 Author Share Posted January 15, 2017 Well she has been a good friend to me in the past and has listened and been there for me when other people haven't, And she is someone I trust like family.. I just get the feeling like I have nothing to offer certain friends and they have a full life so why would they be bothered with someone who is struggling, like I'm going to bring them down or just take up too much of their emotional energy. It just hurts to have someone ghost you, especially someone who you have known for so long. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted January 15, 2017 Share Posted January 15, 2017 If someone is a true friend, they are there, Having a full life does not prevent you from treating others kindly. When was the last time you spoke, and how often do you lean on her for your problems? Link to comment
dhgravity Posted January 15, 2017 Author Share Posted January 15, 2017 She got back to me today and just said "it's alright, don't worry about it." We don't talk much anymore, I tried to lean on her more often in the past but was never reliable, maybe this was intentional, who knows. But even the response I got today almost gives me the indication that she's not that interested in being a friend Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.