In a moment of weakness….

[just jeff]

Some of you know my story…so I will not go back over it again. Just suffice to say I sent flowers to the ex and she responded by not talking to me…in fact it was "goodbye, please do not call my home, cell or office…do not bother responding to this email as I will not get it…I will not be going back to the chat room".

 

Then a text saying "reality set in, my feelings for you are gone". And that was that…she did however visit the chat room we both belong too. And after a few days she would say hello…that's all.

 

A close friend of hers in the chat room told me she needed time to think and decide her future; do not pressure her…

 

So I didn't….and went 10 days…then yesterday morning in the chat room we exchanged pleasantries…we did send a few private messages. Childish I know…game playing? I know…but that is a part of life; some call it negotiation…the give and take until both parties feel comfortable with the deal; which can be modified later.

 

I asked her if she wanted to know when a certain event occurred in my life…she said "yes". I told her it would have to be delivered in the chat room; she said "why?". I told her that I had deleted all of her phone numbers…again with the "why?"

 

I said I was respecting her request…her wishes. She said "oh…ok, here will be fine". She left the chat room to prepare for her Easter Sunday…I stayed and continued to chat…then my phone rang at 9:30ish…I have caller ID but honestly thought it was one of my children calling to confirm a time for dinner…it was the ex.

 

She said "Happy Easter Jeff….I wanted to wish you and your children a very happy day". So we talked for about 45 minutes…nothing about the past or future…nothing about who we were seeing or who we weren't seeing…just friendly conversation about our kids and life in general. Did she call to give me her number again? I do not know why she called…she just did.

 

So people…here I go again…into the lion's den. Can I be hurt again? Certainly…but I will survive as I have in previous times. Will she and I have a future together someday? I like to think so…there will be the day I fly there and met her…whether she approves or not. We will look into each others eyes and have our answer…the final answer. That is all I am looking for…if the look is gone…then so am I.

 

Later down life's path people….good luck in your journeys.

[hockeyboy]

she seems confused.

 

let her sort it out for herself. if you try sorting it out for her (telling her you love her and want her back etc) then she is bound to run away again. at least thats been my experience.

 

kinda like a house of cards. when you try buidling it again after it has fallen....if you try to do it real fast and all at once you wont get anywhere. the higher you get the more you want to just rush and finish it up but it will still fall if you do that. you have to maintain that focus...stay steady.

[keefy1972]

I would guess that a major part of her calling was to definitely give you her number again without having to come right out and give it to you. Thereby exhonerating herself of any guilt if she decides to tell you not to call her again. If you do, she can now say, I never gave you my number after you said you had deleted them. Anyways, I know how you feel Jeff. We all do. I agree with Hockeyboy and think that haste makes waste. You have to remain steady. Good luck!

 

 

"Get busy living, or get busy dying. - You're damned right!!!"

[just jeff]

Thank you both for your responses…I am not sitting by the phone waiting for it to ring, nor am I going to push my agenda…I am a free sprit and so is she. The house of cards is a good analogy…the foundation is the simplest part; yet upon it rests the full weight of the house.

 

I am in no rush…I can't be; I've been sitting at the train station waiting for my train to come in for yrs…I think a little longer won't really matter. All things are relative. Would I love to hear her say once more how she wants to come here…to where she left her heart? Absolutely, it would be music to my ears. But her life, her children, friends…her career are there and she starts thinking of not only missing them…but starting over here.

 

Time will tell…and as Mick Jagger sang "time is on my side…yes it is" May your journeys be rewarding….later down life's path….

[shockeddismayed]

Hey Jeff,

 

Certainly this is a sign that she hasn't closed all possibilities of a future... but I wouldn't take it farther than that.

 

I agree with the others... she is still confused.... and the worst thing you can do is get roped back into her storm... remember the drowning man/woman analogy.

 

You are the strong, self-assured one... you know what you want.... you know she could be the one to offer it if she gets her crap together. She's the one who doesn't even know what she wants... don't let her confuse you.

 

Classic confusion #1: Thinking you want her *even if* she is this wacko state. Ah ah ahhh... you just got tricked! You want her like she was when she was sane, not in this state of confusion! Remember the difference and you will be fine.

 

All the best!

 

S&D